We returned Tuesday from a trip to New York to visit Alan and his family. We took my father, Tom's mother and his autistic sister. Now, most of you know that I am generally optimistic, patient, tolerant, and happy, not wanting to think ill of anyone or treat them unkindly in any way. I won't go into any details, but I was tested greatly in all these areas during our seven days of travel (that includes the day before and the day after our flights). By the time we were getting on the last leg of our flight TO New York, I was having to bite my tongue so much that it's suprising I still had a tongue to bite! As we were approaching Albany the flight attendant approached me and bent over and whispered to me, "I want you to know you're incredible!" I was surprised! This flight attendant could not have known all the thoughts I had had, including during the first ten minutes on the plane as it was being loaded, when I determined I was going to write to the airline and register a complaint against this attendant. I had softened toward her as I observed her over the course of the two hours of delay we experienced while waiting in the plane for take-off, and how she handled herself and the passengers during the flight. My dad and I had joked with her when things were really tense during the long wait, and that helped, I think, but I really don't know why she thought I was incredible. She did have a good view of me and knew how I was responding to the needs of my in-laws and my dad, but I can't think of anything I did that would have made her think good of me. And I felt so guilty because I had had unkind feelings toward her at the beginning of the trip. Not saintly behavior!
I had to pray continually through our time in New York that I could have patience and be able to refrain from saying anything unkind to or about anyone in particular. My treatment of others was pretty good, I think, in spite of myself, but I had trouble with the "saying anything unkind about" anyone. I vented too often and I kicked myself every time. My attitude toward others could very well have affected other people's attitudes, too, and I am ashamed of that. When Pat, my friend and my daughter-in-law's mother, told me the day we were leaving that I was a "saint," I felt guilty again! Jessica tried to give me the confidence that it's alright to THINK thoughts you don't want to express out loud, and I appreciated her efforts to make me feel better about myself. But I think that a "saint" wouldn't have let anyone know she/he was even bothered by a situation in the first place.
There was a time in my life, a few generations ago, when it could have been said of me that I never said an unkind thing about anyone. In fact, I heard someone say once that if "Edna heard someone say something unkind about someone then she would hurry to say something good about that same person." But it's not so any longer. At my funeral they won't be able to say "She never sad a bad thing about anyone." Sigh. Even when I determine to start fresh and become that person who never complains, I fail after awhile.
So, there it is, out in the open: I am not a saint! All I am is someone with tooth marks on my tongue for trying unsuccessfully to be one. But I will give myself credit for not giving any details about any one in particular whose behavior made me bite my tongue in the first place!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thirty-Four!
Inspired by Amy, I hav decided to post in honor of the thirty-four years Tom and I have been married. Our anniversary was Friday and we were in New York so we didn't celebrate. But all of our kids called us to wish us a happy day. We appreciate their thoughtfulness. Amy was first, of course. She beat everyone to it by calling us a day early.
So what is there to celebrate anyway? Almost thirty-five years ago in October we got in Tom's car up at Weber State College and drove downtown and suddenly found ourselves in Schubach's Jewelry Store. We bought rings and then walked back to his car. He had locked his keys inside since he was so nervous. I got to see how resourceful he was while observing him rigging something to open the door. Once we were on our way I helped him realize that he hadn't actually asked me to marry him, so while driving down the road he asked me if I would and I said "yes."
We were engaged ten months, and on August 21, 1975, we knelt across an altar in the Salt Lake Temple, two kids not having any idea what they were getting themselves into, and made all sorts of promises we thought it would be easy to keep, looked in the mirrors to see how we went on and on eternally, exchanged kisses and rings, and then we were a family: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Dean Washburn. We honeymooned in Southern Utah and then returned to Ogden to begin fall semester classes.
We lived in a basement apartment near WSC's campus and walked to school together every day. I soon discovered I was pregnant and Tom soon learned that my cravings were unusual--pancakes for supper, jam on my omelets, etc. But I didn't think that was as weird as pickles and ice cream!
Michael was born May 16, 1976--our Bicentennial Baby! I was so happy to be a mother; having a baby to hold, to smell, to cuddle and love and care for night and day filled the voids in my life. And each baby after that added to the joy, for there was nothing that made me feel more complete than having these little children running around filling the rooms with happy sounds. Alan was born September 23, 1977, Amy September 1, 1979, Lisa November 21, 1981, Katy May 16, 1984 (yes, the same day as Michael), and Cindy May 19, 1987. Above all the other wonderful blessings over the years, these six people in my life give us the greatest reasons to celebrate these thirty-four years together.
We've lived in Roosevelt, Utah, South Haven and Portage, Indiana, West Jordan and Grantsville, Utah, and now Spring Creek, Nevada. I don't know if this will be the last stop for us or not. But everywhere we've lived we've tried to "bloom where planted." Tom has demonstrated his skills at gardening and home maintenance in all of our homes and has set an example of finding pleasure in hard work. Our children have all followed his example. He also has a terrific singing voice and I am pleased that all of our children have taken after their father in that regard. And they are all intelligent and good-looking as he is. They are very fortunate to have such a father.
Now we are expecting grandchildren numbers 13, 14, and 15. What grandchildren have added to my life I don't think I can describe adequately. I am so thankful to my children for having the courage and desire to bring children into the world, and I have loved watching them as parents--and I can say they have done an outstanding job of loving and teaching and training their little ones! Our oldest granddaughter was baptized last week, and I was so pleased to see my son Alan worthy to take her into the baptismal font and perform the baptism. And I got teary-eyed when Alan began to cry while confirming Emily and blessing her with the gift of the Holy Ghost. Every year from now on there will be at least one of our grandchildren baptized. At the age I am now and having experienced all that I have, I know without a doubt that the most important thing we can learn in this life is that we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us. I am grateful my children are teaching their children the lessons they learned in their youth.
So after thirty-four years it is easy to take a look and see what there is to celebrate. It hasn't been easy, in fact we've had some extremely trying times over the years. But we are still working together, drawing our family around as often as possible, getting to the temple when we can, and looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead.
Happy Anniversary to us!
So what is there to celebrate anyway? Almost thirty-five years ago in October we got in Tom's car up at Weber State College and drove downtown and suddenly found ourselves in Schubach's Jewelry Store. We bought rings and then walked back to his car. He had locked his keys inside since he was so nervous. I got to see how resourceful he was while observing him rigging something to open the door. Once we were on our way I helped him realize that he hadn't actually asked me to marry him, so while driving down the road he asked me if I would and I said "yes."
We were engaged ten months, and on August 21, 1975, we knelt across an altar in the Salt Lake Temple, two kids not having any idea what they were getting themselves into, and made all sorts of promises we thought it would be easy to keep, looked in the mirrors to see how we went on and on eternally, exchanged kisses and rings, and then we were a family: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Dean Washburn. We honeymooned in Southern Utah and then returned to Ogden to begin fall semester classes.
We lived in a basement apartment near WSC's campus and walked to school together every day. I soon discovered I was pregnant and Tom soon learned that my cravings were unusual--pancakes for supper, jam on my omelets, etc. But I didn't think that was as weird as pickles and ice cream!
Michael was born May 16, 1976--our Bicentennial Baby! I was so happy to be a mother; having a baby to hold, to smell, to cuddle and love and care for night and day filled the voids in my life. And each baby after that added to the joy, for there was nothing that made me feel more complete than having these little children running around filling the rooms with happy sounds. Alan was born September 23, 1977, Amy September 1, 1979, Lisa November 21, 1981, Katy May 16, 1984 (yes, the same day as Michael), and Cindy May 19, 1987. Above all the other wonderful blessings over the years, these six people in my life give us the greatest reasons to celebrate these thirty-four years together.
We've lived in Roosevelt, Utah, South Haven and Portage, Indiana, West Jordan and Grantsville, Utah, and now Spring Creek, Nevada. I don't know if this will be the last stop for us or not. But everywhere we've lived we've tried to "bloom where planted." Tom has demonstrated his skills at gardening and home maintenance in all of our homes and has set an example of finding pleasure in hard work. Our children have all followed his example. He also has a terrific singing voice and I am pleased that all of our children have taken after their father in that regard. And they are all intelligent and good-looking as he is. They are very fortunate to have such a father.
Now we are expecting grandchildren numbers 13, 14, and 15. What grandchildren have added to my life I don't think I can describe adequately. I am so thankful to my children for having the courage and desire to bring children into the world, and I have loved watching them as parents--and I can say they have done an outstanding job of loving and teaching and training their little ones! Our oldest granddaughter was baptized last week, and I was so pleased to see my son Alan worthy to take her into the baptismal font and perform the baptism. And I got teary-eyed when Alan began to cry while confirming Emily and blessing her with the gift of the Holy Ghost. Every year from now on there will be at least one of our grandchildren baptized. At the age I am now and having experienced all that I have, I know without a doubt that the most important thing we can learn in this life is that we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us. I am grateful my children are teaching their children the lessons they learned in their youth.
So after thirty-four years it is easy to take a look and see what there is to celebrate. It hasn't been easy, in fact we've had some extremely trying times over the years. But we are still working together, drawing our family around as often as possible, getting to the temple when we can, and looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead.
Happy Anniversary to us!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
What Goes Around Comes Around....
Today I loaned my car to a friend with three young children so she can get out and do a few things. Now, if I hadn't thought of it myself and made the offer first, and she had to ask me if she could borrow my car, how could I possibly have said "no" when my own daughter is halfway across the country from me, has no family around to help, and finds herself in the same situation--no car, young kids, can't go anywhere? And she has a good friend who did for her what I would have done if I had been there and could have helped. I realized all this after I got home from taking my car to Chelsea. Thank goodness for friends (my children's friends and my friends)! And Sandi's at the top of my list for many reasons; today it's for taking me to town because I didn't have a car to get me there. I've learned we never have to do it alone. There's always someone eager to help because they've been helped before, too.
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