Return and Report

Quick update

2011-11-21T15:47:00.000-08:00

I need to go to sleep, but I remembered that I had left my blog open so I could make a quick post, so before I shut down my computer and my body I'll tell what I couldn't tell a week ago. I had been summoned for jury duty and had to report last Tuesday. The case was to determine the guilt of a man accused of sexual abuse of a girl under the age of fourteen. I was there for three hours and was fascinated by the process. I was not selected for this jury and am glad to have been spared the awful details of the abuse. The newspaper gave more details than I cared to know. He was found guilty. I hope the young woman heals. I do hope that one day I will be seated on a jury. I would love to be part of the process. The judge last week was so good, and because of things he said and how he said them I am more-than-ever thankful for the jury system.

I hope that all of you are looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones.

Alone

2011-11-14T21:02:00.001-08:00

Tom is in Reno tonight. He had to go meet with some engineers today and tomorrow he is going to a mine in Western Nevada. I have been spending the evening watching shows he wouldn't have been interested in while at the same time exercising, practicing some Spanish phrases, and reading my daughter's blogs. Now I am going to go to sleep so I can get up early. I will tell you about what I am doing tomorrow once tomorrow is over. I don't think I can talk about it yet.

Oh, yeah--before I go, I'll tell you I had an Amy experience. I got a letter following my routine mammogram telling me something was seen that required further screening. Unlike Amy, though, there was nothing on the second mammo. I'm glad Amy's isn't cancerous. I hope it stays that way.

Good-night!

The Meaning of "Soon"

2011-05-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

"In the near future." Since the future is always beyond us, then can we ever reach the end of "soon" so we can do what we promised we would do "soon?"

Tonight I am tired but as I opened my blog to get quicker entry to Amy's, Cindy's, and Jessica's blogs, I realized I had "promised" a real entry "soon." That was about five weeks ago. So much has happened in that amount of time that it will take me considerable time to share half of it. Right now I am only going to comment on one thing.

I have become a storm chaser. No, I don't hop in my car and head out on the back roads to see if I can spot a funnel cloud or baseball-size hailstones. I let others do that. I go along for the ride from the comfort of my bedroom. When the tornadoes move through Oklahoma, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Missouri, Tennessee, Georgia, Virginia, etc., I am glued to the screen. It is not excitement I am seeking. I am watching to see how close the storms come to those I love. And through this I have found how much I deeply love not only my own blood family but my family of human beings.

My heart has been touched tremendously by the tragedies, the losses, the miracles of survival, and the pouring out of love and compassion. I don't know what more I can do besides donate and pray, but I wish I could do more. One of the first things I do after any tragedy--earthquake, tsunami, flood, tornado, etc.--I go the lds.org, find the link to the newsroom, and look for the words I need desperately to read: "All missionaries are safe and accounted for." Somehow reading those words helps me know that the Lord is with all the people, that even though there are deaths and destruction everywhere, He is steering the rescuers, pouring out the compassion, and we as a people become one. There are no more "colors" or "parties"--we are all brothers and sisters, and what one is feeling the others are feeling.

And I begin to count my blessings.

2011-04-21T21:16:00.001-07:00

I forgot to mention that my new, lovely background is a gift from my terrific daughter Amy. Thanks, Amy! You make me look good.

Hi!

2011-04-21T21:14:00.001-07:00

This is just a teaser. I will post something really worth reading soon. I ordered some new red pumps and a red dress. Spring is in the air!

Corbin's Baptism

2010-12-13T10:21:00.000-08:00

Congratulations, Corbin!

Mother knew best

2010-11-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

Just in case you ever wondered, you never outgrow those moments when you hear your mom's voice in your head: "It won't take any longer to put it away now than it will if you do it later." Yes, you'll always be her daughter, always be tutored by her wisdom. Sometime maybe I'll make a list of more of the whisperings from my mom that keep me in line. For now, I just wanted to let you know you're never too old to realize that Mother really did know best.

Next Year

2010-10-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

I just thought of something else: Katy recommended a book about financial freedom which I ordered and Tom has already read before me. He stayed up very late one night working out a financial plan for us. It is so nice to have him that involved with our finances and I have much more of a sense of security about our future now. I also ordered a book on CD for him: "Younger Next Year for Men." He has listened to it and taken it to heart. He has been exercising and doing other things to improve his health. I'm excited! I'm going to have a younger and richer husband next year!

What's Up?

2010-10-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

I don't have anything in particular to say tonight. I just thought I should post SOMETHING since it has been awhile. Not much has changed in my life. However, I have started a new diet that is working. I have a free health coach named Lydia and I love her! As my blog title "Return and Report" suggests, I do best with having to be accountable to someone. Knowing she is going to be asking me if I have cheated at all keeps me on my toes. But after having lost as much as I have in such a short time I don't want to do something that would make me have to start over again into the fat burning stage. I am loving the way I'm feeling--lots of energy, confident, NOT hungry!

In choir we are preparing for performances that begin next week with a recording for a PBS program. I helped them learn their parts but they actually have a "canned" orchestrated accompaniment they have to use. I will be going to be a chaperone. (Does anyone have any ideas for activities to keep kids happy and getting to know each other during a ten-hour round trip on a bus?)

Well, that's about it for now. I'll see if I can find something more interesting to share next time. At least you know I'm alive, healthy and happy.

One season following another...

2010-08-28T09:20:00.001-07:00

I need to check my blog periodically to see what surprises Amy has for me. I like the new background. I bet Michael does, too.

Summer is nearly over and so is my free time. Monday I begin working at the schools and teaching piano every day again. I will be home from 9:15 to 11:15 and from 1:30 on. I teach lessons from 1:30 or 2:00 every day and finish at 6:00 or 6:30. So all the projects I didn't get finished during the summer are now on hold until next summer.

For months I have wanted to make quiet books for my grandchildren. I have taken steps toward that but by the time I get them completed they will have babies of their own.

I have been trying to write a history of the Copper Hills Ninth Ward since it no longer exists. When it is finally done, people from that ward will maybe have forgotten it ever existed in the first place.

I wanted to organize the photographs I have. I want them in books so my grandkids can look at them and learn more about their family. My family is growing so fast and the photographs growing even faster and I can't keep up!

These are only a few of the projects I have been working on. I will always have things to do. But I don't want to just focus on what I haven't done. I did get some things accomplished this summer.

I taught group piano lessons and our theme this year was "My Walk Through Music History." I learned so much about the history of music and enjoyed very much all the research. I feel a lot of satisfaction because of my efforts in this area and I enjoyed our closing social a couple of weeks ago. I'm looking forward to beginning the individual lessons next week.

I planned a family reunion for the weekend of July 24th. It was the first time in four-and-a-half years all my family was together. The last time we had five grandchildren, and now we have fifteen! We were missing my son-in-law, David, but everyone else was here. My father and Tom's mother and sister were here, too. It was a wild and wonderful weekend! The highlights were: we went to a sock-hop, went fossil-hunting, and had a pizza and salad cook-off. I was in heaven. Then suddenly they were all saying good-bye and it was over. A month later it's almost as if it hadn't happened at all. But I keep gathering things around the house that are evidence that they were here. I recently made a trip to the post office to send five packages around the country--shoes, socks, baby toys, artwork, fossils,

etc. that had been left behind.

My house is more home now that all my family has been here and filled every corner and hole with sounds and soul that warm my heart. Thanks, family, for taking the time and expense to give this gift to me.

I went to New York in June and had a wonderful week with Alan and his family. For a couple of days Alan and Jessica were able to get away to celebrate their anniversary and I had a great time with the kids.

I've been able to do some temple work and have loved the peace and learning and feeling within those walls.

I rode Amtrak with Corbin, Morgan, and Miralise. What a fun experience!

I started a friendship quilt for some dear friends--our first in Spring Creek--who recently retired and moved to Utah after living here for thirty years. I made squares and had ward members write their sentiments on them. With the help of another dear friend the top is together now and Tom is right now finishing quilting stands. I have the quilt ready to put on the frame and by this afternoon will be quilting. This is a project that will be finished before the weather turns cold.

I have three afghans that will also be finished soon. This is therapy for me. I love making afghans for those I love.

I've read some good books, written in journals, done housework, babysat grandchildren, moved my office to the bedroom so Tom and Michael can use the other office strictly for their business, kept up with the bills, etc. Now the flexible time is over and my life will be more structured but I am looking forward to the things I have committed to. The students I have, the choir members and Mrs. Hansen, the choir director, are all important to me and I enjoy being part of their lives. I enjoy the children in Primary and am finding more ways to include them in the sharing of music in our meetings.

I have a good life and am thankful to my Heavenly Father for giving me so much--my family, my religion, my talents, my knowledge, my friends, my memories, my desire to serve and use my talents, my home, my neighborhood, etc., etc., etc. Thanks to all of you for your part in making my life so wonderful--for making each season of my life rich and vibrant and fulfilling!

p.s. I would add photos but that option is not working for me today.

The truth.

2010-06-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

Truth is, I have some pretty sexy daughters. Here's a sampling. Sorry, boys, they're taken.

The Secret's Out

2010-06-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

This is hard to say & it will be harder for some of you to hear. But I can't hide it anymore. I'm tired of the lies, the deception.

The truth is.... my daughter Cindy is the best-looking of all my children. There. I've said it. I can't unsay it now. Look at her; she's a vision of beauty!

Exercise buddies

2010-05-26T23:24:00.000-07:00

Michael and Laura have a new exercise program. It's called "Sweating with the Oldies." That's right, they are getting Tom and me to exercise with them. They have these DVDs called "Insanity." It's a pretty good workout. If it doesn't kill me I'll be in pretty good shape in a month!
My main goal is to tighten the core so I don't feel so flabby. I have struggled a great deal the last year because of health and other issues. But I'm determined I'm going to keep my strength so that when we are financially able to do so we can serve a mission. Besides spending time with my family as often as possible, the only other big thing I want to do with my life is serve a full-time mission. I would be so disappointed if I found I couldn't go because I had not taken good enough care of this body of mine. So thanks, family and friends, all of you who are doing your best to encourage me to do what I can to get and keep in shape. I appreciate it so much! Now I need to go shower and get rid of all the dried up sweat!

Life as I knew it....

2010-05-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

...is no more. But that doesn't mean I wish for it to be what it was. Now I have two little boys here to delight me and keep me moving every day! Michael and Laura and their twins, Kalsin and Kodiak (3 1/2 years old) have moved here and are staying in a trailer by us until they can find a house. We told them to treat our home like theirs so the boys would have space to move during the day. With each day I am more and more delighted with them and their antics. Laura is an angel and so pleasant to have around. Tom is truly enjoying having Michael here as a friend--a buddy--to help him with home projects and to ride to the mines with him every day. We are very happy they made the decision to start over again in a new place--our new place--and that they were willing to share their lives with ours. Thanks, Michael and Laura. Good-night, "Alsin" and "Odiak!" I love you!

Modern Marvel

2010-04-07T18:39:00.000-07:00

I may have posted this sentiment previously, but I just have to comment again about the marvelous technology that helps us stay connected with those we love. Last night as Eli held my cell phone in his little hands and conversed with his parents who were hundreds of miles away, it was nearly as though they were in the same room. They heard him instantly and responded just as instantly. There was no moment of waiting for them to be able to hear so they could respond. It's just a little piece of metal and wires and chips or whatever it takes to make it work, but it is priceless. My cell phone. My link to my family and friends.

The Ultimate Diet

2010-03-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I waited for an hour to see my doctor, I read a health magazine. It was full of helpful information, much of it addressing issues I face in my life. What excited me most was an article listing FOODS that BURN CALORIES! Imagine that! We can eat good food and lose that belly fat at the same time. So I am working on a new menu based on that information.

From now on, my breakfasts will include: one cup of oatmeal with chopped walnuts and blueberries; one egg with hot sauce served on a slice of high fiber toast spread with half an avocado instead of margarine; either an orange or a grapefruit (or maybe both--if one is good, wouldn't two be better?); yogurt with berries (yep, I'm going to get all the berries I can!); and a cup of milk. This should keep me from being hungry until it's time for a fat-burning snack!

Mid-morning snack: one apple, sliced and served with peanut butter.

Lunch: Black bean salsa served with a whole-wheat quesadilla full of calcium-rich cheese; yogurt and--you guessed it--berries!; and sweet potato fries (baked, actually). The sweet potatoes will be coated with olive oil so I can get my good oil for the day. It's good for the brain. I'll eat lots of the sweet potatoes so I can get the fiber, burn belly fat, and reduce my chances of going senile in my old age. And I do have about twenty pounds of belly fat I want to burn, so the more fat-burning foods I can eat the faster I should burn the BF!

Mid-afternoon snack: The article said that dark chocolate is good for you. Since I don't have dark chocolate but I do have milk chocolate, I figure two milks would equal one dark so that's while I'll have for my snack. Of course, I won't eat this every day. On some days I'll eat chocolate chip/oatmeal/walnut cookies. There was a recipe in the magazine that was called "America's Healthiest Cookie." Sounds like a good option to me! Oh, and I should have more berries, so I think I'll add strawberries--dipped in chocolate, of course!

Supper (or dinner, depending on what it's called in your part of the world): Vegetable soup with broccoli, asparagus, carrots, tomatoes, celery, peppers (every color I can find), mushrooms, cabbage and cauliflower. I'll use chicken broth and shake in some cayenne pepper or hot sauce so I get that capsaicin that is in hot peppers and is supposed to burn fat. I'll have whole wheat bread with it (you can't eat soup without bread!). And I must have another yogurt because I have now read three articles telling how yogurt burns fat and that you should have three servings a day. Of course, I've got to toss in some berries and this time I'll add some nuts, too.

After dinner snack: The article said that you shouldn't ignore your cravings. If you have been wanting to eat a donut, then eat it! No one ever died from eating a donut, the article said. But for me it will probably be a cookie that will call me. Or Tom's cinnamon rolls. And if it's supposed to be good to eat one, then what's wrong with two--or three?

Bedtime snack: When I am lying in bed relaxing after my hard day of dieting I'll reward myself with a Skinny Cow Frozen Truffle or a Weight Watcher's Giant Fudge Ice Cream Bar--but not both! I wouldn't want to overdo it! Ahh, that will feel so good. You must treat yourself well when you have been faithful to your diet plan. That way you'll want to keep doing it.

I bet than in a few weeks when you guys see me again you won't even recognize me! I am SOOO glad I had time to read all about these foods while I was waiting in the doctor's office.

p.s. You may be wondering why I was in the doctor's office. No big deal. I had my thyroid checked again last week and needed to see what the doctor thought of the results. It turns out I need another boost in the hormone so he increased my dosage. You know, if your thyroid isn't working right it is harder to burn the fat. With my new diet and the increased medicine, I'm bound to see some changes!

My Day

2010-02-21T21:08:00.000-08:00

Monday through Friday, this is my day's schedule: I get up, shower, go to Spring Creek Middle School and accompany the choir from eight o'clock to eight-forty-five. (There are two choirs; it's a different one each day.) Then I go walking for an hour. I head home, take care of things that need to be done (I've got some projects I'm slowly making progress on, plus I do my cleaning, piano lesson preparation, etc. during this time.) I drive back to the high school at 11:10 a.m. to accompany first the Select Choir, and every-other-day I also accompany the Chorus (all girls this year). Once home I begin supper if I have decided on the menu and shortly piano students begin showing up. I finish teaching in time for supper. Unless I have meetings in the evening (rare, but this week it so happens I have something every night except Monday!) I get to relax a bit, read my scriptures, write in my journal, say my prayer and go to bed to get sufficient rest to do the same thing again the next day.

I was sitting in the Salt Lake Temple yesterday and looked at my hands and felt a surge of gratitude for all I have been able to do in my life because of my hands. I am very glad I can play the piano, that these fingers listen to the directives from my brain, and that because I have this talent I have had so many opportunities to serve and to get to know very many wonderful people!

I was pondering my purpose in life recently and came upon the realization that I don't need to wait for God to tell me what my purpose is. I need to decide for myself what reason I have to get up every morning. I determined that my purpose is to touch as many lives as possible with my music abilities. Music reaches the heart in ways nothing else can. It is healing, it teaches, it soothes, it excites, it calms, it provides enjoyment, and in many cases it leads one to Christ. That is my purpose. I recall reading that Beethoven's brothers found a letter he had written to them in which he explained that he had contemplated committing suicide as a result of his deafness. But he realized he could not end his life because God had given him a gift which he needed to use until God said it was time to stop. I am certain I didn't explain that adequately but you get the idea. Everyone needs a reason to live. I have mine.

I probably ought to explain to my family that I do count them as a reason to continue living. They have been my life. But something changes when your children marry and have families of their own. Mothers don't play the same role they used to. It is very satisfying to me to see my daughters being taken care of by wonderful husbands, and watching them take such good care of their own terrific children. I am also pleased that my sons have such special, angelic wives who satisfy their needs and are raising such beautiful children. We all have such a terrific relationship but I am not needed to solve problems or do the things that I was needed for as they were growing up. I need to be needed daily, and my students and those choirs fulfill that need for me. Whereas my family used to need me, now I need my family. I couldn't live without them. They are my world and always have been. I love them with all my heart. I am thankful to know that we can all be together forever. If that couldn't be I'd give up trying completely. Heaven wouldn't be heaven without those people who have made me who and what I am, those who love me and whom I love.

Now I'm going to bed so I can get up and start "My Day."

Things I've Learned

2010-02-09T17:57:00.000-08:00

Things I've learned:

If you cry with your glasses on, you get salt spots all over the glass.

Elko, Nevada, is not like Las Vegas, Nevada. It is much, much colder!

Seeing your grandchildren in photos is nice but it's not as nice as being able to hold them and hug them and dance with them and read to them while they're sitting on your lap.

It gets harder and harder to maintain your weight the older and older you get.

If you leave your weights in the car too long they are too cold to hold in your hands.

Just because you get older it doesn't mean your problems are fewer or easier.

But when you get older you do find there are more things to be thankful for. Like hair dye, orthotics, bifocals, hearing aids, large-print, and grandchildren.

Having friends is life-saving. Sometimes for you, sometimes for them. It works both ways.

Grown-up kids show a parent how effective their parenting was.

Sunlight is nice any time we can get it in the winter time.

Home is a good place to be.

When you fly Southwest, be certain to do the online check-in twenty-four hours before your flight so you can be in the first group of boarders.

Southwest still lets you check the first two bags for FREE!

You are supposed to take your thyroid medicine a half hour before you eat something and four hours before you eat or drink anything with calcium or iron. That messes with my breakfast routine.

Early church meetings are better. For me, anyway. I like having my afternoon free to write letters and read.

Writing in my journal and crocheting are therapeutic for me.

Things that feel good are clean sheets, clean teeth, clean rooms, clean dishes, clean hair, clean cars.

And I'm done for tonight. But since I'm over fifty years old I have learned many more things than I can possible remember.

One of the things I experienced....

2009-12-29T20:43:00.001-08:00

I listened to "Wuthering Heights" this year. I had never read the book and had no idea what it was. I enjoyed it immensely! I have read or heard no more beautiful love story than this. And now some of my favorite quotes are from Emily Bronte's writings in this book. I believe these quotes describe the love we should hope to have with the one we wish to be with forever.

"...he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights, Ch. 9

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights, Ch. 9

"Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."

My wish for all of you is that this is the kind of love you will experience sometime in your lives.

Merry Christmas from Virginia and Simple New Year!

2009-12-25T14:54:00.001-08:00

It is six o'clock in the evening in Mechanicsville, Virginia. I am sitting here enjoying the glow of the lights of the Christmas tree and watching "Enchanted" with Cindy, Eric and Tom. Noah hasn't been interested in any of the movies we've watched today. He seems to be interested mainly in growing and all the things required to grow: eating, excreting, sleeping, stretching.

Yes, we spent Christmas in Virginia this year. Last year we spent the holiday in O'Fallon, Missouri, with Amy and her family. The day after Christmas we took Amy and her boys and went on a road trip to Louisiana so she could meet Cindy's husband, Eric. Amy hadn't been able to attend the wedding because she was expecting Benjamin within three weeks of the big event. Amy wrote about that trip in her blog, so you can look for it in her archives if you're interested.

I arrived Thursday night one week ago, and Friday morning we went shopping at Wal-Mart for some groceries. It was busier than I remember any Wal-Mart ever, even though it is hard to believe that a Wal-Mart is ever anything but crazy busy. Eric was told that the store was busy that morning because snow was in the forecast so people were stocking up, because people here don't drive in the snow. By suppertime that forecast appeared to be correct, and by the time we went to bed there were over six inches. Saturday saw more snow and when it was all over we had about a foot of the beautiful but treacherous white stuff! I took pictures of the neighbors' homes to show Noah what his first home was like. He'll have this to talk about some day. I heard that on the news they were calling this the storm of the century!

Monday we were able to see what the storm had done throughout the area. We decided to take a road trip this year, too, and this time we went to New York to see Alan, Jessica, and their family. I got to meet Jack and now I can say with a great deal of satisfaction that this year I have seen all of my fifteen grandchildren and all my spouses and their children. And all of them are wonderful, darling, terrific people.

As the year approaches its end I am spending some time considering what this year has meant and I am gearing up to take on a new one. I am not afraid of change, but I must admit that I wouldn't mind if we have a year in which we can just deal with all the new things in our lives that came as a result of the 2009 changes. And they were BIG! Lost job, found job, sold home, bought home, good-bye Utah, hello Nevada, gave up thirty-plus piano students, took on thirty-plus piano students, began accompanying four choirs at the Spring Creek schools, went to New York for Emily's baptism, got three new grandsons, saw my dad's health on a downward spiral and then on a upward climb...there may be more but this is enough to mention now. I just want a simple year. But can it be simple with six three-year-old grandkids, not to mention the other nine of all ages from eight-and-a-half down to newborns?

I'm not complaining about the grandchildren. No, not at all, for they are what and who I live for every day. I love them with all my heart, and they are what keeps my heart beating. I think I am more alive now, as though they have injected a dose of life with each hug and "Grandma! You're here!"

Well, enough rambling. This may not be read by anyone but I will be able to add this to my journal. And maybe when all the pages are put together someone might be able to make sense of my life and learn of all the things that make me who I am.

p.s.

2009-11-29T19:53:00.000-08:00

Oh, yes, and thanks to Amy for another lovely background for my blog! I'm glad she is my co-administrator! She always makes me look good, witty, smart, talented, etc.

The Tenth Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-29T19:21:00.000-08:00

I know this is overdue, but I finally have time to sit and complete my ten days of Thanksgiving. Yet I can't list only one of my blessings tonight, because there are still so many that must be named! In the interest of time, however, I will limit it to some very special people who have occupied space in my heart for a long time--or a short time, depending on how long they've been on the earth.

My children, namely Michael, Alan, Amy, Lisa, Katy, and Cindy are the most fabulous people on the face of the earth! How could I live without any one of them? Simply, I could not. They each play a vital role to my well-being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I would not be if they did not exist. And they have added to my joyful existence by adding to our family their remarkable spouses: Laura, Jessica, David, Brandon, Richard, and Eric. They each add dimension to my life that makes it all that more enjoyable to be alive. Some time I will try to explain how all my children and their husbands/wives have blessed my life.

Then there are those grandchildren: Emily, Corbin, Michael, Isabella, Morgan, Kalsin, Kodiak, Julia, Miralise, Eli, Anna, Benjamin, Jack, Logan, and Noah. Ahh, there's nothing like being a grandmother! A hug from any one of my special grandchildren and any fear or worry is forgotten. I live for the next time I will see these awesome reproductions of their parents.

My parents, my brothers and sisters and their spouses and children are all so terrific! I have been so fortunate to belong to such a loving and supportive family. I love the hugs I get from my nieces and nephews. I enjoy their emails and phone calls. They are all special to me.

Later I will do a blog on my friends. There are too many and so many stories to list any of them here right now. But I am so thankful for them!

Now on to perhaps the most important blessing in my life. I will preface this by saying that I think perhaps I have given the wrong impression to those who are close to me. Going by things I hear them say from time-to-time I think they believe that I have always been such a "good girl" all my life, that I haven't strayed or broken any rules and that I always expect everyone else to be the same. Oh, my heart aches just thinking about what I might have made my children think I expected of them and what they may think of how I see myself. And how do I make them understand what I am trying to say without confessing my weaknesses and past mistakes to them?

I give myself the same advice that I have given to others. When you have repented you don't need to tell others about the wrongs you have committed. You don't need to be saved by anyone else when Jesus Christ has already saved you. And He has saved me as I have had to draw upon the power of the Atonement again and again in my life. And I have learned! I try to obey the rules now because I know what it feels like to break them and to hurt other people in the process. I try hard to do what is right because I know the agony of the broken heart that comes from knowing I have disappointed my Father in Heaven and added to the pain that my Savior experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane. I study the scriptures and pay attention in meetings and read what I can to help me learn more about the God who loves me and has given me the very breath that keeps me alive minute by minute when there are times when I felt I would rather die than face the fact that I have fallen so short of the expectations placed upon me. I give service as faithfully and as diligently as I can and in as many ways as I can because service is part of the repentance process. I love more fully and deeply because I have felt His love; it has saved me over and over again.

What people see in me today is not a person who always does the right thing; they see a person who wants to be right in the sight of God, and I pray for strength every day to be able to do better. I have so many changes yet to make.

I am thankful for my Savior and for my God. I am thankful I can pray to Heavenly Father and feel His arms around mw when I need Him; I am thankful for what Jesus Christ did for me. I am thankful that change is part of the plan. This is all very personal for me but I feel it is time to make sure that my children know that I hope they will learn these same things, and if possible not in the same ways I did. I will try to remember that as they use their agency they will have experiences that will teach them and they don't need me to protect them from the pain of mistakes. I just want to be their mother/ grandmother in the best ways I know how to be and hope they will accept my offerings to them. I love them with all my heart. And if we all try we may look forward to an eternal association with each other. Without the hope of this why even try?

The Ninth Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T21:50:00.000-08:00

Tonight before we head out to the fifth-wheeler to get some shut-eye I just want to say that although I was happy to follow Tom to Nevada, I am grateful that we only live three hours away from family. When we arrived at Lisa's house in Grantsville and walked toward the door we were greeted with shouts of "Grandma, Grandpa!" and lots of hugs. It did my heart good. We had a wonderful afternoon and evening with the Nelsons and look forward to two more days of fun and making memories with the Nelsons, Rushes, Washburns, Oswalds, and Lemons. I really am grateful that Tom didn't get a job in Alaska or Australia!

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

Eighth Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T00:02:00.001-08:00

Now it's another day. Since I'm going to Utah in a few hours and will be playing with my grandchildren tonight, I'm going to do this blog post now.

And this time I'm thankful for another day! We never know if we'll be granted another one or not, and I'm thankful that I've been lucky enough to wake up about 19,950 times and see that Heavenly Father has given me yet another chance to get it right.

Seventh Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T23:55:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for shoes. I do go barefoot a lot, especially in the summer months, but I am so grateful for comfortable, protective shoes. Some of my shoes have endured my abuse for years and I can't get rid of them because they are like old friends. Now that I have learned how very worn shoes can affect the tendons and arches of my feet, I realize that I cannot wear those old friends. But they will probably sit in my closet forever because looking at them is a reminder of many places I've been, things I've done, people I've walked beside, danced with, climbed with. Ah, sweet memories. Thanks, shoe friends.

Sixth Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T23:51:00.000-08:00

Doctors! I am so thankful for doctors! My life has a quality that it couldn't possibly have if I hadn't been blessed to have been treated by a knowledgeable member of the medical community. Thank goodness some men and women will take endure the time, energy and expense--and a number of other personal sacrifices--to learn how to help the rest of us enjoy life more fully.

And I won't even list the number of times I've had to take advantage of their skills and knowledge. I LOVE doctors! (And their nurses!)

Some people I'm pretty thankful for on Day... whatever... of Thanksgiving

2009-11-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

1. People who aren't very good at stuff, because I look better.
2. Ugly people, because I look prettier.
3. Fat people, because I look skinnier.
4. Dumb people, because I look smarter.
5. Really, really, really old people, because I look younger.

2009-11-22T20:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am going to mention a few things I'm thankful I DON'T have: missing limbs, blindness, cancer, missing children, abusive husband, extreme poverty, scary neighbors, no food in my refrigerator, no education, no car, no children, no friends, no idea why I'm here, where I came from or where I'm going. Yes, the list could go on and on and on. I'm one extremely grateful person!!!

And now I'm going to bed. It's been a very nice day but now I'm tired--going to get some rest at the end of this day of rest!

Fourth and Fifth Days of Thanksgiving

2009-11-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

Oops! I thought about posting last night and got distracted and suddenly I was in dreamland. So tonight I'll take care of two days at once.

I am thankful for food. I LOVE food! I love planning menus, I love cooking, I love eating. For most of my life I could eat anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, and never had to worry about weight gain or any other problems. Then I reached middle age. All those years of being able to enjoy food without guilt caught up with me. But I've learned good eating habits and am more conscious of what and when and how much I eat and I can still enjoy food. Sometimes I feel guilty but most of the time I'm just glad that I live where I have plenty and never have to go hungry. I know I need to give thanks for what I have because there are so many who go to bed hungry every night and wonder if they'll get anything to eat the next day.

I am thankful for airplanes and cars and trains and all the other modes of transportation that are means for being with those we love. Because of the airplanes and cars we have been able to see all of our children and grandchildren this year, and in less than a month we'll be in Virginia awaiting the arrival of grandbaby number fifteen, Noah Badger.

And one more: I'm thankful for a good, thoughtful husband who will get supper on the table while I write in my blog. He's a nice guy.

Third Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-19T21:33:00.000-08:00

Paper. I am surrounded by it here in this room. The minutes from the meeting I attended tonight, the records from which I am typing the Copper Hills Ninth Ward history, family history projects, phone directories, envelopes in which I can mail letters to my friends, a fax from our wonderful insurance agent who is trying to help us set Carson City straight, the notice from the sanitation company letting us know when they'll pick up the garbage next week, music I've printed for my students, receipts and bills that are all evidence that we live and we are noticed, books, books, books, boxes, the door, the beautiful trim on the door and walls, the hardwood floor just outside the door...oops, now I'm getting into the cousins of paper. It's the paper family for which I am so grateful. The posterity of trees. Isn't it wonderful how our needs have been provided for, and we can keep it all lasting longer if we are mindful and use it all wisely.

I haven't even begun to name many ways paper (tree posterity) is displayed throughout my home: music, photographs of family, my piano, the legs of the sofa, the table and chairs, the desks, etc., etc., etc.

Now I am going to get one of my favorite papers: my scriptures. I love to read them and it is part of my routine before I snuggle under the covers. And that leads to another one of my favorite blessings, but you'll have to wait until another day to read about it. Good-night!

The Second Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-18T21:08:00.000-08:00

Music, music, music! Oh, how my life has been blessed by music! I am so thankful that my mother taught me to play the piano when I was a child. The experiences I have had in my life because I played the piano have been extensive and awesome. I know people I wouldn't have known otherwise. I have had to overcome a great lack of confidence, I have learned theory, I have developed skills that have given me opportunities to give service most of my fifty-plus years.

And my parents also taught all of our family to sing, to play the ukelele, guitar, accordion or rhythm instruments, and I have very fond memories of performing with my family from very young years--for church, schools, soldiers, the wounded, etc.

I could go on and on and on about how music has blessed my life, but I'm admittedly quite tired tonight and I'm going to get ready for bed now. You can bet that as soon as I wake in the morning there will be a song on my mind, most likely one of the pieces one of the Spring Creek High School or Middle School choirs are rehearsing daily to be able to perform at their Christmas concert. What a way to start the day!

The Ten Days of Thanksgiving

2009-11-17T18:19:00.000-08:00

We have twelve days of Christmas, right? Why not ten days or so of Thanksgiving? I'm going to spend the next ten days posting things for which I am thankful. Of course, ten days or one-hundred days wouldn't be enough to do all my blessings justice, but just spending the time writing for awhile might make me ever more mindful of all that makes my life worth living.

Day Number One:

Today I am thankful for modern technology, and most specifically the things that help keep us connected with those we love. Isn't it remarkable that we can dial some numbers and in seconds we can be speaking with a family member who lives thousands of miles away? Or send a text and you can get an instant reply from halfway around the world. Friends can give road updates, husbands can get instructions from wives so they'll get the shopping done right, wives can find out from husbands what to do when the car is making that funny noise again. Daughters can call mom and ask for a prayer before a dreaded test, sons can call parents to tell the latest cute things their little boys did. All of this can take place in a moment of time. Granddaughters can call and put on a piano recital for Grandma. To me it is truly incredible.

One of my most recent experiences with modern technology occurred Saturday. Katy wanted to give Cindy a baby shower. Cindy lives in Virginia and Katy lives in Utah. Katy's brilliant idea was to do a "virtual" shower so that the friends and family could gather at her place and by web cam they could invite Cindy to join the party. Tom and I headed for Utah so I could be part of the shower, too, but the highway was icy and scary so we turned around and headed home, first stopping at Les Schwab to get studded tires for my car. We got home and connected to the internet on the computer so that we could join the party from Nevada. Alan connected so he could have a video chat with us, and while he was on he told us how we could have a conference video chat so that we wouldn't have to "take turns" talking to Cindy and the others. So once we were all connected through "tokbox.com" we could see everyone in New York, Virginia, and Utah,all at the same time, and what a thrill that was for me. I got to see twelve of my grandchildren and all but one of my children. Actually, I know Michael was there at Katy's but I didn't see him, so I saw four out of the six. I did hear his voice, though.

While I am on the phone talking to my kids or having a video chat with any of them I forget that we are hundreds or thousands of miles apart, and feel that we are in the same room and I can almost feel them breathing and that I can reach out and hug each of them.

We went to visit our friends Chris and Andrea Sunday night and they were having a video chat with Andrea's parents and brothers in Alaska. I bet Andrea would say she's very grateful for this technology, too, and I am certain her mom is thankful she can see her only grandson and not feel quite so far away.

Whoever invented all of this technology is going to get a pie from me one day! I love him!

I'd add photos but there's something wrong with the technology tonight and I can't make comments on anyone else's blogs nor can I upload photos to mine. So whoever said it was perfect? These are the moments when we can be thankful for all the times that it does work!

Plantar Fasciitis

2009-10-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

There are some things that we can't do anything about, and we have to learn how to deal with them as they come--losing our hearing, our perfect eyesight, etc. However, I have learned too late about some things, and one of them is "plantar fasciitis." I had not even heard of this until recently, once I had developed the symptoms. Now I have found that I have lots of friends with the condition. And I've also learned that had I properly cared for my feet I wouldn't have the crippling annoyance. Fortunately, I am learning things that I can do to relieve the symptoms. But for those of you who are much younger, I am advising you that you read about it now and take preventive measures so that you won't have to deal with this in your midlife years.

Now I'm going to put this aging body to bed. It's no longer "beauty sleep" but "restore energy" sleep. I thought I was going to have a lot more fun when I got old!

Poets

2009-09-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful for those clever, talented souls who write beautiful poetry--thus giving us a way to express ourselves when without the help of the poet we'd be clumsy and fall short of saying just how we feel. Don't you love Hallmark cards? What would we do without them?

One of my favorite classes in high school was my English class, particularly when we studied poetry. I still have some of the poetry we analyzed back then. It was in high school when I learned a little about E. E. Cummings. One of my favorites of his is "Maggie and Millie and Molly and May..."

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea

I love Cummings' unconventional style, and I love what I
learn about myself from this poem.
When Amy was small we went to the beach in
California and she delighted in collecting items that probably
said something about who she was.  I wonder what she would
now pick up from the leftovers buried in the sand as
the waves washed out to shore.  What would I be drawn to?
How about you?
Are you a Maggie, a Millie, a Mollie or a May?

Last year in our RS book club meeting one month we
shared poems. One of my friends shared another of
Cummings' poems which I immediately embraced
as one of my favorites.  I heard it again on a
movie last week and again it brought tears
to my eyes.  It's called "I carry your heart with me."

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I would like to meet E. E. Cummings someday
and ask him who was his inspiration for his
beautiful work.

I like to write poetry, too, and
I've written poems for my kids
and grandchildren, but they only
hold meaning for us;
no one else would be inspired by my
work.  For example, here's a little rhyme
I wrote for my son, Michael, which described
well his contributions to our family:

"We call him the 'Fix-it Man,'
If anyone can, he can.
He'll take it apart
And get it to start,
He's Michael the fix-it man!"

(This can be sung to the tune of "Popeye the Sailor Man.")

Maybe sometime I'll post the rhymes of the songs I wrote
for my grandchildren, but I have to write a few more
before I share what I've already done.  I don't want
anyone to feel I've neglected them.

And now to you I say "adieu."

Blah Blah Blog...

2009-09-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

This is just to say I'm still here, but feeling very weary at the moment and needing a nap. When I wake I'll be able to ponder on the significance of the day's events and I know I'll feel satisfied--very satisfied--at how this week is shaping up so far. But, man, I'm tired!

Confessions of a Non-Saint

2009-08-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

We returned Tuesday from a trip to New York to visit Alan and his family. We took my father, Tom's mother and his autistic sister. Now, most of you know that I am generally optimistic, patient, tolerant, and happy, not wanting to think ill of anyone or treat them unkindly in any way. I won't go into any details, but I was tested greatly in all these areas during our seven days of travel (that includes the day before and the day after our flights). By the time we were getting on the last leg of our flight TO New York, I was having to bite my tongue so much that it's suprising I still had a tongue to bite! As we were approaching Albany the flight attendant approached me and bent over and whispered to me, "I want you to know you're incredible!" I was surprised! This flight attendant could not have known all the thoughts I had had, including during the first ten minutes on the plane as it was being loaded, when I determined I was going to write to the airline and register a complaint against this attendant. I had softened toward her as I observed her over the course of the two hours of delay we experienced while waiting in the plane for take-off, and how she handled herself and the passengers during the flight. My dad and I had joked with her when things were really tense during the long wait, and that helped, I think, but I really don't know why she thought I was incredible. She did have a good view of me and knew how I was responding to the needs of my in-laws and my dad, but I can't think of anything I did that would have made her think good of me. And I felt so guilty because I had had unkind feelings toward her at the beginning of the trip. Not saintly behavior!

I had to pray continually through our time in New York that I could have patience and be able to refrain from saying anything unkind to or about anyone in particular. My treatment of others was pretty good, I think, in spite of myself, but I had trouble with the "saying anything unkind about" anyone. I vented too often and I kicked myself every time. My attitude toward others could very well have affected other people's attitudes, too, and I am ashamed of that. When Pat, my friend and my daughter-in-law's mother, told me the day we were leaving that I was a "saint," I felt guilty again! Jessica tried to give me the confidence that it's alright to THINK thoughts you don't want to express out loud, and I appreciated her efforts to make me feel better about myself. But I think that a "saint" wouldn't have let anyone know she/he was even bothered by a situation in the first place.

There was a time in my life, a few generations ago, when it could have been said of me that I never said an unkind thing about anyone. In fact, I heard someone say once that if "Edna heard someone say something unkind about someone then she would hurry to say something good about that same person." But it's not so any longer. At my funeral they won't be able to say "She never sad a bad thing about anyone." Sigh. Even when I determine to start fresh and become that person who never complains, I fail after awhile.

So, there it is, out in the open: I am not a saint! All I am is someone with tooth marks on my tongue for trying unsuccessfully to be one. But I will give myself credit for not giving any details about any one in particular whose behavior made me bite my tongue in the first place!

Thirty-Four!

2009-08-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Amy, I hav decided to post in honor of the thirty-four years Tom and I have been married. Our anniversary was Friday and we were in New York so we didn't celebrate. But all of our kids called us to wish us a happy day. We appreciate their thoughtfulness. Amy was first, of course. She beat everyone to it by calling us a day early.

So what is there to celebrate anyway? Almost thirty-five years ago in October we got in Tom's car up at Weber State College and drove downtown and suddenly found ourselves in Schubach's Jewelry Store. We bought rings and then walked back to his car. He had locked his keys inside since he was so nervous. I got to see how resourceful he was while observing him rigging something to open the door. Once we were on our way I helped him realize that he hadn't actually asked me to marry him, so while driving down the road he asked me if I would and I said "yes."

We were engaged ten months, and on August 21, 1975, we knelt across an altar in the Salt Lake Temple, two kids not having any idea what they were getting themselves into, and made all sorts of promises we thought it would be easy to keep, looked in the mirrors to see how we went on and on eternally, exchanged kisses and rings, and then we were a family: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Dean Washburn. We honeymooned in Southern Utah and then returned to Ogden to begin fall semester classes.

We lived in a basement apartment near WSC's campus and walked to school together every day. I soon discovered I was pregnant and Tom soon learned that my cravings were unusual--pancakes for supper, jam on my omelets, etc. But I didn't think that was as weird as pickles and ice cream!

Michael was born May 16, 1976--our Bicentennial Baby! I was so happy to be a mother; having a baby to hold, to smell, to cuddle and love and care for night and day filled the voids in my life. And each baby after that added to the joy, for there was nothing that made me feel more complete than having these little children running around filling the rooms with happy sounds. Alan was born September 23, 1977, Amy September 1, 1979, Lisa November 21, 1981, Katy May 16, 1984 (yes, the same day as Michael), and Cindy May 19, 1987. Above all the other wonderful blessings over the years, these six people in my life give us the greatest reasons to celebrate these thirty-four years together.

We've lived in Roosevelt, Utah, South Haven and Portage, Indiana, West Jordan and Grantsville, Utah, and now Spring Creek, Nevada. I don't know if this will be the last stop for us or not. But everywhere we've lived we've tried to "bloom where planted." Tom has demonstrated his skills at gardening and home maintenance in all of our homes and has set an example of finding pleasure in hard work. Our children have all followed his example. He also has a terrific singing voice and I am pleased that all of our children have taken after their father in that regard. And they are all intelligent and good-looking as he is. They are very fortunate to have such a father.

Now we are expecting grandchildren numbers 13, 14, and 15. What grandchildren have added to my life I don't think I can describe adequately. I am so thankful to my children for having the courage and desire to bring children into the world, and I have loved watching them as parents--and I can say they have done an outstanding job of loving and teaching and training their little ones! Our oldest granddaughter was baptized last week, and I was so pleased to see my son Alan worthy to take her into the baptismal font and perform the baptism. And I got teary-eyed when Alan began to cry while confirming Emily and blessing her with the gift of the Holy Ghost. Every year from now on there will be at least one of our grandchildren baptized. At the age I am now and having experienced all that I have, I know without a doubt that the most important thing we can learn in this life is that we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us. I am grateful my children are teaching their children the lessons they learned in their youth.

So after thirty-four years it is easy to take a look and see what there is to celebrate. It hasn't been easy, in fact we've had some extremely trying times over the years. But we are still working together, drawing our family around as often as possible, getting to the temple when we can, and looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead.

Happy Anniversary to us!

What Goes Around Comes Around....

2009-08-06T16:45:00.001-07:00

Today I loaned my car to a friend with three young children so she can get out and do a few things. Now, if I hadn't thought of it myself and made the offer first, and she had to ask me if she could borrow my car, how could I possibly have said "no" when my own daughter is halfway across the country from me, has no family around to help, and finds herself in the same situation--no car, young kids, can't go anywhere? And she has a good friend who did for her what I would have done if I had been there and could have helped. I realized all this after I got home from taking my car to Chelsea. Thank goodness for friends (my children's friends and my friends)! And Sandi's at the top of my list for many reasons; today it's for taking me to town because I didn't have a car to get me there. I've learned we never have to do it alone. There's always someone eager to help because they've been helped before, too.

Peace and Quiet

2009-07-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

Thinking this would be a quiet evening, I thought it a good time to shed my clothes and just wear a bathrobe while I washed all the laundry. I'm kind of funny about getting the laundry done and having dirty clothes in the hamper. So the load of whites was swishing around in the washer and I was standing at the sink washing dishes and Tom was outside working in the garden when the doorbell rang. I was expecting a call from Sandi, my friend, but not anyone at the door. I went in the spare bathroom and peaked out the window to see who it was. Relief! It was Sandi, so I felt it safe to answer the door. I invited her in to visit so she could tell me all about the meeting she had just attended. When she was on her way out the door another vehicle pulled into the driveway. It was the scouts, and I suddenly remembered they were doing the Friends of Scouting Drive tonight. I hollered at Sandi to yell at Tom for me and tell him to come in the house! Then I ran to my room, got the checkbook and wrote an amount for them. Not hearing Tom, and only hearing the doorbell, I hurried to get dressed, and then luckily Tom came in and took the check to the door. I went back to the dishes again and heard Tom's phone ringing, so I rushed to answer it since he was outside again. Finally I finished the dishes, put the wet laundry in the dryer, and in a few minutes I can go to bed. All my kids should be in bed or nearly there by now and all my neighbors should be unwinding so I think it's safe. So much for a quiet evening!

(If I had been quick-witted Rebecca, when I saw it was Sandi at the door I would have flung it open and greeted her with, "Welcome to my brothel!" Maybe I would have asked her if she was bringing her application for employment. And only people in Nevada would understand...)

Boy, oh Boy, oh Boy!!

2009-07-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

Well, until this year we had six of each--granddaughters and grandsons. But this fall and winter the boys will increase by three! Jessica, Lisa, and Cindy are all expecting boys: September, October, and December. (My dad is expecting five great-grandsons during that period of time.) I can imagine the fun those boys have had as they have planned what they are going to do together at family gatherings. Can I just say I am a happy grandma?

Talk Walks

2009-07-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

There are numerous benefits of walking, and walking with partners adds to the benefits. I have a few friends that join me for our six a.m. walks. When the alarm sounds after a too-short night of sleep, knowing that someone is expecting me to be dressed and in my walking shoes within the next few minutes is the thing that gets me out of bed when I'd much rather spend a little more time staring at the inside of my eyelids. Having others walk with me also helps keep me paced so I don't go too slow. As I am the oldest (by about sixteen years or more) of the group, it is good to have young ladies who can encourage me up the hills and who will hang onto me going down steep, gravelly inclines. And the greatest benefit of all is the talking.

Here's the most recent example of how our talk walks benefit me. I talked to Rebecca about my feelings toward my new calling. The previous afternoon she had just read a paragraph in a book that fit the situation perfectly, and last night she stopped and dropped off the quote that helped me shed the feelings of despair I had over being "stuck" on a piano bench again for two hours every Sunday. As a result, this afternoon I was led to the LDS Church website and read more about my calling, and from there went to sugardoodle.com, and I read some blogs written by other people about being Primary pianists (who all said it was the "best" calling in the Church!), and I found some lovely arrangements of Primary songs that I can use for prelude music.

I have overcome! Once again the young ladies I walk with have helped me up a hill that seemed a little too hard to handle for this old body (and soul) of mine.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows how to reach me in my darkest hours, and to friends who listen and are ready to respond when the Spirit directs them to do so. I love my Talk Walks!!!

Who's Got Talent?

2009-07-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

In any organization, including The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, where accompanists are needed, well, you can expect that if you are one of those with the ability, like it or not, you will find yourself being asked again and again to be a pianist for this or that. Personally, I like sharing my talent. After all, God gave it to me. How ungrateful would it make me to turn down a call to serve using my God-given abilities? So today, once again, I sat across from a member of the bishopric and without hesitation accepted the call to serve as pianist in the Primary organization.

Would you think me terrible if I admitted out loud that I felt like crying from that moment on? I spent over one-hundred minutes sitting on a piano bench, with no more than fifteen of those playing the piano. I was continually berating myself as I looked over the top of the piano at the faces of those lovely, innocent children who were there to learn the gospel of Jesus Christ. Somebody has to be there to play the piano whenever a song is sung! It's my turn again! I'm doing it for the Lord! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Edna! It's a blessing to have the free time now to do other things instead of spending hours preparing lessons or planning and carrying out activities. Other people would think this is one of the greatest callings in the church!

I know that I'll settle into the calling and I'll find a way to keep myself busy and during Sharing Time and other time of just sitting I can write in my journal and read my scriptures (which is what I did today). I'll realize blessings just for being willing to serve, and although I do not need to practice or study to be able to be prepared for this calling, I will grow just from being faithful to what the Lord has asked me to do. And I'll keep myself from thinking about the months and years ahead of me and stop singing the words of the hymn ("More Holiness Give Me" that say "more used would I be." This is exactly how the Lord would use me in His Church right now. I should be happy that I am worthy of a place in His Kingdom.

Now I'm going to make a list of all the things I want to begin to do this week to fill all the time another calling might have asked of me. (Maybe you'll see more blog posts!)

Sigh....I thought I might make myself feel better but so far it's not working....

2009-07-17T23:02:00.000-07:00

When Cindy and Eric graduated from BYU, we celebrated by gathering at a hotel near campus. We had a great time, and one of our "feel good" moments was when we did karaoke and showed off our wonderful musical talent. When you watch this video, stay tuned until the end when you can see the real talent! What a blast we had! (And notice my father in the background, probably wondering what the heck he was doing there!)

Now that I've figured out how to do this, look for more videos and photos in the near future! I've got so much I want to share!

Oldies but Goodies

2009-07-10T11:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight we'll have our first "Oldies but Goodies" party here in Spring Creek. We started a group in Grantsville, too, and in West Jordan it was a similar group we started but we called that one "POAC" for "Parents of Adult Children." When I started the first group it was to satisfy my longing for a social life, and I realized right away that I wasn't the only one who needed it. We had some great times. What we did was put everyone's names in a bowl and then we drew them out to see who was going to host the next one at their home. What fun memories I have of the parties in West Jordan! And then we moved, and after awhile I decided it was time to start over again with new friends, so we got it going in our Grantsville ward. I looked forward eagerly to our monthly gatherings and was strengthened by the friendships that were cemented as we associated with one another. And tonight we're starting all over again!

I've been trying to think of a top ten list that tells how you know if you qualify to be in the Oldies but Goodies group. I'll have to post the list when I have it completed. It will include such things as "when you get together with your friends the main topic of conversation is the latest health issue you've had to deal with" or "you had to put on your bifocals to be able to read the invitation."

Speaking of health issues, I have to tell this funny story: While walking with my friends a few mornings ago, one of them said, "Today I'm going for that test that all women dread!" Now keep in mind that I'm about seventeen or eighteen years older than any of the other women with whom I walk. As we all talked about this dreaded test, I was sharing my experience with it while the others were sharing theirs. After awhile it was evident that we were not talking about the same test! For me, the most dreaded test was the colonoscopy! I couldn't believe she was actually out walking with us at six o'clock in the morning the day of her "dreaded test" because I remembered how weak I was that morning as a result of the prep you have to do to be ready for the colonoscopy. So when we realized it wasn't what I thought it was, we started talking about mammograms, for surely that's the test she meant after all! I told her she should be having it done in October, because that's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and if you have a mammogram then they give you "booby prizes" such as pink mints, pink ribbon pins, etc. We had some good laughs as we talked about our experiences with mammograms. And they all got an introduction to what they had to look forward to once they reached fifty! Then....the next day I asked my friend how the test had gone. And we once again found that our assumptions had been wrong. She hadn't gone for the mammogram! She had gone for the pap smear! Now those of you over fifty would understand my confusion, because I've experienced more dreaded "routine" tests than women under forty have even dreamed of! Oh, how we laughed when we realized the confusion in our conversation. My friend had just decided the previous day to forget about trying to make us understand what test she was talking about. I don't blame her.

I'll probably tell this story tonight at our "Oldies but Goodies" party when we're sitting around discussing our latest health problems.

Last and Next

2009-07-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

Last night I had my last activity with my Mia Maid class. We had a personal progress activity that was fun for me; I hope the girls had fun, too. Since they all left with bubble gum and Skittles I think they would say they had had a good time. I've had the calling for about two-and-a-half months, which isn't very long, but it was long enough to develop some special friendships with a couple of the young women leaders. And I'll be seeing the girls often when school starts again because most of them are in the choirs that I accompany. I was able to have the "fun" experience of camping in the rain, I taught the girls how to make pies, we had some Sunday lessons that helped me just as much as they helped the girls. It's been a sweet experience, and now I'm looking forward to what's next--because there's always a "next" when it comes to service in the Church.

I'm smiling

2009-06-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

I get to see some of my kids and grandkids Sunday and Monday! Boy, could I use their hugs right now!!!

War

2009-06-24T20:37:00.000-07:00

Some of the greatest battles we fight are within ourselves. I just want to say that I am living proof that even in our darkest hours we can reach toward the Light and have hope that soon the darkness will be over. And it is good to be reminded that the darkness is part of the process of refinement. We appreciate the Light much more when we've been consumed by the dark.

I am so thankful to family and friends who, whether they realize it or not, say and do the things that prove to me that Heavenly Father is mindful of what I need when the battle is raging and I fear this might be the one that is lost.

I did it for Brandon.

2009-06-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

There have been times when I have felt very sad that I had to leave my cats, Calvin and Hobbes, in Grantsville. I know they are with a good family. But I miss them so! I avoid the pet food aisles in the grocery stores. I skip over the photos of them in Picasa. Sometimes it hurts my heart deeply.

But tonight Brandon, my son-in-law who is deathly allergic to cats, stopped to visit us. I put my arm around his shoulder and walked with him toward our home, into the door, and welcomed him to our "dander-free" home. I realized at that moment that the sacrifice I made was not too great. I love Brandon and it was worth it to have a home where he could come and breath deeply and enjoy himself along with the rest of the family.

I'll keep remembering tonight every time I turn my head when passing the pet food aisle.

However...

2009-06-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday the Relief Society/Priesthood lesson topic was about improving our temple attendance. Tom, Eric, Cindy and I were motivated to action and planned a temple trip for Friday (yesterday). I called the Twins Falls Temple on Tuesday and made an appointment (a requirement for attendance at some of the smaller temples). We left by eight o'clock yesterday morning, and I was so excited to be headed to a temple again. It has been a few months since I was last able to do so. And we had never been to the Twin Falls Temple so that was a thrill for me, too. However, after we left the interstate and headed north from Wells, Eric looked at the GPS and saw the time of arrival and asked if we had figured the time based on the time zone change. We realized we hadn't and we weren't going to make our appointment. So we turned around, got back on I-80, and headed to Salt Lake City instead. Cindy has never done a session in the Salt Lake Temple so she was glad to think she'd be able to do that finally. However, we thought that as long as we were going to the Salt Lake Valley, we might as well see if any of our kids could meet us after the temple session and we could have dinner together. It just happened that they could. However, with the schedules as they are for the different temples, we decided that it would be better to go to Bountiful so we could get into a session sooner than we could in Salt Lake. Cindy hadn't been inside that temple, either, so she was still glad.

Once we were dressed we headed up the stairs to the temple chapel. A gentleman was waiting at the top and was anxious for us to join him. He was waiting for a married couple to be the witnesses in that session. Tom hadn't yet caught up with me; however, I motioned to Eric and Cindy, and the worker was pleased to finally have his witness couple! There were only eleven people in the session counting Cindy, Eric, Tom and me. They needed us! We were glad we had chosen to go to the Bountiful Temple. And I felt and was taught many things; I know that could have happened in any temple we attended. However, because of the choices we had made, I was able to sit at the side of my daughter and watch her as she stepped to the temple altar with her husband, and to share the blessings of being in the temple with her. It was wonderful!

Afterward we picked up some Mexican food and took it to Katy's apartment and shared a meal with Richard, Katy, Eli, Anna, Spencer (their nephew), Lisa, Corbin, Morgan, Miralise, Derek and Whitney (my nephew and his wife). However, Michael and Laura had chosen not to venture out in the rush hour traffic to join us, so we missed them. However, we made arrangements instead to meet them in Magna for ice cream, so we had Lisa and her kids go, too, and we met at Arctic Circle and had some yummy shakes and cones.

The drive back to Spring Creek always seems to go faster than driving to Utah, because we get to knock off an hour on the clock. It was great to be home. However, I will always be glad that we listened to the counsel of our leaders and arranged a day to go to the temple. It turned out that it was a family day, a very special day, and for that I am very grateful.

Visitors

2009-05-20T14:07:00.000-07:00

These deer came to visit us (11 in all) the other day.

Hi, friends!

2009-05-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

This is just a note to all my friends who periodically check my blog: Hello! I love you and miss you! And I'll update my blog again soon. Or I'll have my daughter do it for me. I always enjoy her posts for me much more than I do my own! Good-night!

Oh, yes, I should direct you to Amy's blog. Click on her link below (Much Ado About Nothing) if you want to have some good laughs. Be sure to read all the comments and Classic Michaels.

Still darling but not so little...

2009-04-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

My baby graduated from college today. It's been such a busy two days here in Provo that I haven't had a lot of time to think about how it makes me feel to see my youngest in her cap and gown, standing by the side of her terrific husband who is also wearing a BYU cap and gown. They will be leaving in a few weeks to go to Virginia Commonwealth for his graduate school work. I think I am working hard to just be so happy for them and all their accomplishments and sharing in the excitement of the adventures that lie ahead. I dare not consider what it is doing to my heart to see my darling little girl step with her husband out into the world where there is so much uncertainty and such instability. What I can be sure of though is that Eric loves Cindy and is so good for her, and she loves and adores him and would follow him to Russia if he wanted to go there. And they stand on a firm foundation built on faith in the Lord. I know they will be alright. But I may still shed a tear or two...or three....

Spring Fever

2009-04-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

Tom was generous and shared his cold with me. Last night I tried doing a new blog post and it disappeared. I was too tired to try to do it over again. I'm too tired tonight, too, but I thought I'd at least tell what was up with the untitled post.

Wednesday is the next time I will have some time to post. I'll update then. Now I'm going to lie down again. Why do colds go around just as spring is finally getting the best of winter?

Ramblin' Rose

2009-04-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

Today just call me Rose, because I feel like ramblin'. On and on about everything and nothing. I should be doing other things but Amy has driven me to this. She takes advantage of the little moments and lets me know about them so I can feel that I am with her and watching her chase her sons around and listen to her finally get things off her chest and the distance closes between us every time I read her blog. Now I'm fighting tears. I shouldn't be, because she always makes me laugh! So I'll just ramble on now....

We moved from Utah to Nevada last month. If anyone had told me at any time in my life I'd end up living in Elko, Nevada, I would have questioned their sanity. And, actually, I'm not living in Elko. I'm living in Spring Creek which is a bedroom community ten miles south of Elko. There aren't many businesses out here, just two gas stations, one grocery store, a dentist, a hair salon, a store similar to Sprouse Reitz (in case any of you remember them) which sells a little of everything, an Ace Hardware store, a couple of restaurants, a post office, a credit union, etc. There are two elementary schools, a middle school, and a high school. There are five LDS Wards and two chapels. And it's so beautiful and peaceful in this valley! It is very arid. We look out our back window at sagebrush which in its natural setting is lovely to me. And I love the smell! And at night I can look out the arch of the bedroom window and see the Big Dipper's handle. The sky is clear and clean and I am enjoying life here.

I am going to be accompanying the middle school and high school choirs. I just can't say no. I could have gone this morning to start rehearsing with them but I need a day of practice on two of the songs so I feel better prepared. So when I am finished writing I will head for the piano.

I LOVE this house! But, no, I don't love it more than my third child or more than any of my other children or grandchildren. But since I can't live with any of them I'm glad I've got a lovely home that suits me. I feel it is compensation for once again packing up and following my husband to his new work opportunity. Besides, this opportunity, the home, the new people in our lives, the chance to serve the Lord in this area, etc.--all of this was provided by the Lord who knows us and opens doors to things that He knows will make us happy. And I truly am happy. I could have been happy still in Grantsville, and the Lord would not have stopped loving me if I had protested and told Tom not to take that job but to look for something that would have allowed us to remain in Utah and close to our children and grandchildren. But the way things happened I had no doubt that better things were in store if we followed the promptings and trusted in what the Lord was preparing for us.

My dad is staying with us right now. He's been here for about ten days. I'll take him back to Salt Lake on Wednesday. We are lucky to have him with us still. He is so wise, so witty, so loving, so giving. He has a new pacemaker now which will extend his life for years. Without it the doctor said he may not have lasted three months. Thank God for modern technology and health advances!

I am still suffering from the bad fall I had two months ago. I can't sit for long, especially on piano benches and car seats! Even lying down doesn't give me much relief. I hope the pain goes away soon.

Back to this house. I have been having so much fun organizing it, buying things for it, planning for it. I have bookcases on their way here and when they are put together and I can empty the boxes of books, photo albums, etc., then I will finally have the rooms looking like they are complete except for the bare walls. I haven't yet decided how or what to hang. Tom doesn't want to put nail holes in the walls which really makes it a challenge to figure how I'm going to put up anything at all.

We have put Cindy's ceramics on the plant shelf. It's up really high and pots won't have to be watered. No one should even notice the dust on them.

I'm going to write a book for my family. It's going to be called "Stories I Like to Tell." Included will be the stories of our moves, how some of my children met and married their spouses, dreams I've had, cute things my kids said when they were young, Tom's conversations in his sleep, etc. It will be a book they will be so excited to see!

Speaking of books, I think Amy should write one. Everyone who agrees with me tell her so. She is so clever, so witty, so good with words, and she can even do her own proof-reading! I would love to see a book about being the mother of a child like Michael. And there is so much else she could write about. I also have an idea of a book I want her to co-author with me, but I'm not going to mention it here because there are thousands of people who read my blog and they might steal the idea.

Tom loves his job. It is so nice to see him enjoying getting up and going to work. Sometimes that means going to a mine early in the morning and sometimes it means going to down the hallway to the home office. Today he worked in the office, made phone calls and set up appointments, and now he is on his way to a mine. I don't know where all the mines are except on a map I bought for him and he labeled. I've also had fun helping set up his office.

Well, I have taken enough time away from all that I need to do today, so I'd better stop ramblin' and start working. I hope that this post has helped some of you feel a little bit closer to me. I've felt closer to you as I've thought about what to say to you.

Have a good day!

Love,
Rose

Nothing to Say?

2009-04-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think I don't have anything worth telling about, but here are some suggestions for things I think I could possibly blog about but haven't because I'm too busy thinking about how I have nothing to blog about:

Closing on the new house (which house I love more than I love my 3rd child)
Welcoming 2 more grandkids this year (guess who & you'll get a prize)
Enjoying a general conference weekend visit with some of my favorite people
Posting pictures of my lovely new home (which my 3rd child refuses to do for me as it is time for her to be in bed)
Posting pictures of my family (maybe even embarrassing ones)
Praising my 3rd child (who I love only slightly less than I love my house)
Praising my other children (who I love only slightly less than I love my 3rd child)
Complaining about how someone keeps logging into my blogger account & messin' with my background & posting stuff that leaves my readers confused & maybe even offended.

Still gullible after all these years....

2009-03-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

I was sitting comfortably crocheting Morgan's afghan last night while enjoying an episode of "Law and Order." Tom was on the computer doing some work. The room phone rang; he answered it and what I heard was interesting: "both mattresses? Now? Outside the door? Okay." He left the receiver sitting on the desk, apparently having been instructed to do so until he had done what he had been asked to do. Then he told me that the man in the office said both of our mattresses had tested positive for bed bugs and we needed to strip them of their bedding and put them outside the door. They were going to be replaced with new mattresses. I commented that this made our hotel stay more of an adventure, and I helped him strip the beds. As we took the first mattress out the door I said we should see if anyone was out there with a video camera. Tom said that things just didn't seem right. I told him that before he did anything else he should go down to the office to make certain we were really supposed to be doing this. First he went back to the phone and told the waiting man that he had the first mattress out the door. The man asked him to take it down the stairs himself because the maintenance man had hurt his back. I again told Tom to go downstairs and confirm this before he did another thing. He came back up and said, "Someone must be having a good laugh right now." Yep, it was a prank. A pretty funny one, don't you think? We put the beds back together again and I sat there crocheting again, watching "Law and Order" and "The Closer" and wondering if when I left the hotel room in the morning there would be some young man watching me and grinning. "That lady and her husband are sure gullible!" I've got to be more on my toes!

New Adventure; Good-bye, Grantsville, Hello, Elko!

2009-03-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

Well, today we are embarking on our new adventure. Elko calls. Michael and Laura came over with the boys last night and helped us with the last of the cleaning. This morning the guys need to load the bed, freezer, and refrigerator--oh, yes, and the desk and computer, too--while I take care of some other matters such as banking, running things over to Lisa's house, etc. Then our caravan will take off: Edna in the red Ford, Laura in the ...(whatever they drive), Michael in Tom's pick-up, and Tom in the twenty-six-foot U-Haul. Brother Matthews will pull the red trailer with the remaining boxes over when we are actually moving into our house. This weekend we will just hang out over there. We've already said our good-byes to family and friends and not wanting to prolong the agony we're going to go ahead even though neither house has closed yet. Perhaps it's risky, perhaps it's dumb, but we're doing it anyway. The houses ARE going to close. It was just a matter of how long we want to have our things sitting on a U-Haul and how much we want in hotel bills. Michael had taken Friday and Monday off so we decided to take advantage of his thoughtfulness and spend the weekend with them. For my birthday, which was yesterday, Laura is taking me to a Kenny Chesney concert tomorrow night in Wendover, which is halfway between where we are now and where we'll be by this afternoon.

So today we officially say good-bye to Grantsville. It's been a nice place to call home for three-and-a-half years. We'll keep our friends and hope to see them occasionally when we come to visit Brandon and Lisa and family. We have had some wonderful experiences here which we will cherish forever. Thanks, Grantsville, for what you have contributed to our growth!

CinderAmy

2009-03-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

While we were at Lisa's yesterday she was talking about her kids' attitudes. I reflected on my years as a young mother and couldn't remember an attitude problem with my kids, although I'm certain they existed because kids do have attitudes. I think it is important for moms to remember the words from the scriptures "and it came to pass." It doesn't say "and it came to stay." These problems go away and then you learn how to deal with new problems. Don't despair because it seems that all you do is manage whining, messy, cranky, disobedient little souls so often. Hold on to the special moments when they say something that gets your heart. You'll have a lot of those. They are the tender mercies that help to keep you sane and remind you that these spirits do have a divine nature.

Now, having said that, I move on to talk about Amy. I told Lisa yesterday that the only "attitude" I could think of regarding my young children was Amy's. When I asked her to do something she would protest or complain nearly every time. It was frustrating to me but I was set on conquering that by focusing on the positive. One day I asked her to take the laundry basket outside and take the towels off the clothesline. She straightaway did it. No complaints at all. I was so pleased and commented on it when she had completed the task. Her response has always stayed with me: "I just pretended I was Cinderella." Of course, that meant that I was the wicked stepmother.

But now it doesn't matter to me what it was that drove Amy to do the things I asked her to do. Look at where she is now. She loves to clean, and I love to visit her home because it is so comfortably clean ALL the time! She is going to be my model in my new home. I have let go of so much stuff and I hope that I can keep my home clutter-free and clean. But she may have to come and visit occasionally and let me play the role of wicked stepmother again. CinderAmy can make my home spotless for me.

Oh, by the way, have you ever read the book called "CinderEdna?"

I'm returning to the blog and reporting to my fans...

2009-03-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

I probably have nothing to say today that you haven't heard already. We're moving. And you know all the stuff that goes with moving. Selling your house. Buying a new one. Throwing away, giving away, packing away, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. And waiting. We need to close on this house before we can close on the Nevada one. We aren't betting on which house will be ready for closing first, just hoping the Utah one is ready soon so we'll have our money to close on the Nevada home.

I am looking forward to making the Nevada home mine. I love it! I've lived in so many homes I don't know if I could count them. And this one will be the "best saved for last." I am anxious to become one with it. And I realized last night that the reason I am feeling so anxious about the closings is that everything about this move seems too good to be true. The more time passes without the finality of the home sale and purchase the better chance there is that this dream I'm having will end before I get to see the end of it. And I feel awkward asking God to grant the desires of my heart when so many people in the world would give anything for a roof over their head, for food on their table, to have a job, to be disease-free, to not have to worry about plundering, raping, bombs, etc.

I realized I am so very blessed. But the things that have been happening--Tom getting a job so quickly after being laid off (a job he absolutely loves!), selling our house to our neighbors without having to advertise it (again--just like West Jordan!), qualifying for a new home loan (we thought we'd be renting or living in an RV for awhile), etc.--all these things don't say that we are more righteous or more deserving than anyone else. Many righteous people lose jobs and can't find new ones, they lose their homes, etc. It doesn't mean God doesn't love them. What is happening to Tom and me right now is evidence to me that Heavenly Father wants us in Nevada now. So we're going. And He is making it easier for us to make this move by making some sweet and pleasant things happen. I do love the way Heavenly Father takes care of me, and I pledge my heart and soul to doing whatever it is He wants me to do in my new community. And I dedicate my home to doing His work.

I hope that our friends and family will decide to make that pleasant drive over to the Ruby Mountains in Nevada and stop and visit awhile. Please!

Just clarifying

2009-02-01T17:30:00.000-08:00

FYI: Amy has Edna's blogger username & password & sometimes might play jokes on her. You never know who is posting... Edna or Amy. Actually, you probably know for sure who it is; their style is different & Edna will have fewer grammatical errors. But just a warning.

I'm not Amy, if that's what you're thinking

2009-01-18T18:57:00.001-08:00

Amy is not writing this post. No, it's me, Edna, and, no, Amy would never do anything to abuse the power I gave her when sharing my username & password so she could help me with my layout. Amy's just not like that.

I haven't posted in too, too long. Here are some things you might not know about me:

1. I kissed about 200 boys in high school, but only about 150 in college before I married Tom. Since then it's a lot less.
2. I'm thinking about a navel ring. What do you think?
3. I'm sick, sick, sick of being so happy all the time. I just want to grouch around for once in my life.
4. My favorite airplane read: The Communist Manifesto.
5. Of all my kids, Amy is the only one who has not completely disappointed me. Yet.
6. I wish I could get away with wearing more bows, ruffles & gemstones.
7. I never curse in English, but I know curse words in 40 foreign languages, so I can get it out of my system.
8. Sometimes when my kids call me to whine about how hard their lives are I make faces at their pictures on the wall.
9. When I'm all alone at home and I'm sure nobody is going to come home & surprise me... I like to dress up in a leotard & legwarmers try my hand at some hot dance moves.
10. Sometimes, to keep Tom on his feet, I break stuff around the house & pretend I don't know how it happened.

Once again, I don't know why you would even suggest that Amy wrote this post. You're way off.

Merry Christmas from Missouri!

2008-12-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

Tom and I are fortunate to be able to spend Christmas with David, Amy, Michael and Benjamin this year. It has been wonderful to be in their home and share this special time with them, to see the traditions they are carrying on from generation to generation. We had a lovely dinner Christmas eve, with ham and all the trimmings. Michael got to sleep just minutes before Santa arrived with his presents. Now some of you are accustomed to being awakened at three o'clock a.m. on Christmas morning by children who are so anxious to see what Santa brought that the moment the clatter of the reindeer is disappeared from the roof the kids are shaking you--"Is it time yet? Can we go see what he brought?" We were lucky to be able to sleep late.

Tom and I woke after eight o'clock this morning and Tom peeked to see if Michael was stirring. He was lying on his bed with his eyes open. I think he might not have remembered what day it was. Eventually we all made it downstairs and Michael was excited to see the police car, ambulance, stuffed beagle, and stocking full of toys that Santa left for him. He was equally excited to see what Santa gave Benjamin. We had fun watching him. Then we had our typical unhealthy breakfast of pumpkin roll (and apple pie)--except David, that is. He had cereal, refusing to join us in our attack against our bodies.

I checked my blogs while Tom was watching the video David and Amy gave him (Bill Cosby Himself). David and Amy took turns talking to his mother. I got teary-eyed thinking about all my other family that I don't get to see this year. It is unlikely that I will ever get to have all my family together in one place for the holidays. But I want you all to know that no matter where I am you are all in my heart at the same time. And so, in honor of all of you, here's a song for this Christmas--with a little twist in the words:

Merry Christmas, Darlings, we're apart, that's true.
But I can dream, and in my dreams, I'm Christmasing with you.
Holidays are joyful, there's always something new,
But every day's a holiday when I'm near to you.
The lights on your tree I wish I could see, I wish it every day.
Logs on the fire fill me with desire to see you and to say
That I wish you merry Christmas, Happy New Year, too,
I've just one wish on this Christmas Day, I wish I were with you,
I wish I were with you.

I would if I could

2008-12-11T08:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I got a call yesterday saying I had been deferred as a bone marrow donor--not permanently, just for a couple of months. It's a result of the diverticulitis that attacked me in August. Now, it's not something I can pass on to anyone else. It's a condition caused by aging--wear and tear on the intestines. When they get worn out they develop pockets which can become plugged and then infected. The pockets are called diverticula, having them is called diverticulosis, and when they get infected it's called diverticulitis. But just having been diagnosed with it so recently they want to wait and if I'm a possible match for someone in the future they can see if I've been doing alright in spite of the diagnosis.

I told a friend this morning and she reminded me that the important thing was that I was willing. It's true; I had thought it would be a nice Christmas present to someone to share my bone marrow with them so they could live. But I will not be able to do that so I am trying to curb the disappointment by thinking about how I can still give my heart to the Lord.

I have plenty of other opportunities to give, too, and that should keep me busy enough. In fact, I've got to get to one of those opportunities right now: I need to get ready for tomorrow's den meeting! It's the last one of the year for those four ten-year-old boys. I want it to be memorable.

More than enough to spare....

2008-12-05T21:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, I just thought of one more thing I wanted to share. I received a phone call this morning minutes before I was to walk out the door and join my walking companions for our daily one-hour walk. The caller ID said "IN Blood Ctr" and I took a moment to consider whether or not this was a call soliciting funds. I decided to answer and find out. The young lady caller asked if I remembered registering for the blood marrow donor list while we lived in Indiana. I said I did. Then she told me that my marrow has been found to be a possible match for a forty-four-year-old man in Indiana. She asked if I would be willing to fill out a health questionnaire to determine if I qualify. I readily agreed and she emailed me the seven-page form which I completed as soon as I returned from my walk. It's already been faxed to her office in Indiana. If they approve me based on what's in the questionnaire, then the next step would be for me to be contacted by an agency in Utah who would do some blood testing. If that turns out well, then I can be a donor. I will not have to leave the state and it will cost me nothing. I would like to do this. But maybe it will turn out the same as my jury summons this year. I was summoned to be available to serve anytime from September 1st to December 31st and I haven't yet been called to the Federal Courthouse. It appears this time I'm not needed. I would really like to serve on a jury someday!

Okay. Now I have to pay my bills. It's on my list of things to do.

Well, I WAS going to go to bed, Amy.

2008-12-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

I read Amy's blog tonight and then watched Cindy and her elf friends dance. I was going to go to bed but suddenly felt an urge to write something in my own blog. I'm not prepared to write about another of my children. I have to find some cute stories in my journal first. Talking about the weather and politics and such is not appealing (and those subjects may be a bit boring right now, anyway). What should I write that would make it worth reading? Hmmmmmm.....

I know! I've wished that there were some kind of list of things we should or should not do in order to feel we were right in the eyes of the Lord. You know, a list we could check off as we did each one, or as we acquired certain traits or developed certain talents. For example, 1. Never tell a lie. 2. If you ever tell a lie, be certain to repent immediately. 3. If you lied a long time ago and didn't ever repent, go buy some fresh lambchops and cook them very, very well on your barbecue grill and then offer them to the missionaries.

Really, I don't mean to make light of what really is something very important. I WANT to do what is right. I WANT to please Heavenly Father. I WANT to know I will one day be worthy to stand in His presence. I have spent far too much time worrying about mistakes already made or mistakes I might make today or tomorrow. I want Him to give me a list just like He gave Moses and the wandering Israelites (the Ten Commandments). I am a list person. I make lists of everything I want to do the next day or week or month. I make lists of what I need to buy. I make lists of what I want to do for my family for Christmas. I make lists of activities I want to do for piano lessons or scouts meetings. I make lists of lists. Now I just want a list of what I have to do in this life in order to feel I have accomplished the reasons I am here on the earth.

Well, last night I found a list. It jumped right out at me as I was reading scriptures. At least, I felt it was a good place to start. If I can follow this guidance from the Lord I just might have a chance. I found my list in Doctrine and Covenants Section 4.

Here are some of the things I noted in my journal:

Embark in the service of God.
Serve Him with ALL your heart, might, mind and strength.
Thrust in your sickle with your might.
Have faith, hope, charity and love.
Have an eye single to the glory of God.
Develop these: faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, and diligence.
Seek after the things of God ("Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you.")

Now I have to get to work becoming and doing all these things! I'm certain I've lived more than half my life, so time's a-wasting! I've got a lot to do!

(Elder Bednar's conference address about prayer was extremely helpful to me in regards to my personal prayers. It also is a kind of checklist for me and I feel my prayers are already becoming more meaningful as I consider and apply what he taught.)

Now I'm going to bed. And going to bed for me includes washing my face, brushing my teeth, putting on my pajamas, having prayer, writing in my journal, reading from all five standard works (Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price---I LOVE reading them all at once! I never before enjoyed the scriptures as much as I do now; you should try it sometime!) and I also read from the Ensign Magazine. (I've not been very good at taking advantage of the wonderful material in the Ensign, and finally figured out that if I attach it to something I know I will do every day then I'd get it done. So I started making it part of my scripture reading.)

Oh, wait! I can't go to bed yet! I have some bills I determined I was going to pay TODAY, and I've only got one hour left! Then I can rest in peace.

Lifetime!!!

2008-11-13T20:30:00.001-08:00

Last week I became a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers! That was a big day for me. What that means is that I don't have to pay to go in and be weighed and attend the meetings, unless I have gained two pounds or more over my goal weight. That will keep me mindful of what I eat. I've learned a lot the last few months, and I have to say that I am so glad my own children have learned these same things much earlier than I did. I thought I was a good mother, feeling my children well, teaching them good health habits. But I'd always been able to eat anything without it affecting my weight so I hadn't learned to be careful about how much fatty and sweet food I ate. It all caught up with me after I'd had all my babies and especially when I reached menopause.

I am feeling so good now, though, that I never want to gain back any of that unneeded weight. One day I will have to return and report to my God what I did with this body He gave me. I hope I will be able to tell Him I took good care of it and thus was able to be a more useful and fit tool in His hands.

Cindy Lou

2008-11-13T19:45:00.000-08:00

I warned you I would be blogging about my children. Tonight I am going to get started carrying out the threat. And since Cindy usually gets saved until last because she is the youngest, I chose her as my first post.

Yesterday I was going through a box of memories; you know, the cards, letters, sticky-notes, etc. you just can't throw away because they remind you that someone loves you. Although I have put together books for each of my kids with samples of their handwriting, report cards, schoolwork, artwork, etc. and have given them to them, I still have a few things here to warm my heart. I came across two Mother's Day cards that Cindy gave me when she was 7 and 8 years old. I had to call her and read them to her so she could get a good laugh. Here's the poem she wrote in the first one: "I love you little I love you big. I love you like a little PIG! Love, Cindy W." The background of the poem was a computer-drawn pig.

In Indiana the school taught phonetic spelling, so keep that in mind as you read what she wrote in the second card: "I can't beleav that it has been 8 years seins I was born. You were 32 wein I was born and now you are 40! But even thogh your 40 I guss you can have a Happy Moters day! Love, Cindy."

Is there any wonder Cindy has chosen to build upon her writing and public relations capabilities by seeking a PR degree?

My due date for Cindy was May 18th. I started having contractions early, first on May 1st, my dad's birthday, then on May 9th, my mother's birthday, and then on the 16th--Michael's and Katy's shared birthday. By the time the 19th came I was so exhausted from lack of sleep as the constant contractions were keeping me from resting, and I told the doctor that by the time the baby came I wouldn't be worth anything. He sent me to the hospital and started the labor that morning and she made her entrance into the world about 5:30 p.m. She didn't want to share her birthday with anyone else, and she did get her own. But I should tell this story, too: I had thought about when was the ideal time to have a baby, since I'd had some in the spring and some in the fall. I had picked the time I wanted to have my sixth baby and was able to start the pregnancy right on schedule. However, I had a miscarriage and lost the baby. That meant I would have to wait nearly a year to start all over again. One day I was in the shower and pondering the situation and I thought I heard a voice say: "I don't care when I'm born! I just want my body!" Cindy spoke to me long before I got to see her and smell her and hold in my arms. And I've been learning from her ever since!

Cindy was my baby, and my buddy for a few years after the others had all started school. When we moved to Indiana we explored our new town while the others were gone all day. We discovered Aldi's, which became our favorite grocery store. We put lots of miles on our van as we became acquainted with our town and Northwest Indiana. We talked and talked while we were on the road. She made up jingles, and I could kick myself over and over again because I didn't get them on paper. She would have been a great advertiser! One of my favorite moments when we were on the road was when we were listening to a tape recording of "Chicago." "If you see me walking down the street, look away, look away, I don't want you to see me this way." Cindy asked me, "Why doesn't he want her to see him that way? Is he...naked?"

Cindy made a little booklet of cartoons which depicted office doors with signs on them. I wish I could remember them. That's one of the things I passed on to her for her posterity. I think one of them was "Office of Wildlife Resources" and the sign hanging from the doorknob said "Gone Fishing."

My journal has many entries with cute things Cindy said and did as a child. She was always so delightful and I called her my "sunshine." She still lights up a room when she enters.

I've always been able to count on Cindy for laughs, hugs, intelligent and deep conversation, for understanding, help, and for reminders of how much Heavenly Father loves me. After she left home and we became empty nesters I looked forward to her frequent phone calls that helped me realize that although she was a young woman living in a grown-up world now she still wanted that connection with Mom. That meant more to me than I can express.

Now she is a married woman, belonging to that handsome Eric. But although he can call her his, there will always be part of her in me, because without Cindy I would not be complete.

I love you, Cindy, my sunshine, my darling!

Sluffing

2008-10-26T19:29:00.001-07:00

I know it's time for a new post. But I'm going to read a book instead. However, I am planning to do a post about each one of my children, so stay tuned...

Tag! I'm It!!

2008-10-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

I may have been tagged before but this is the first time I've decided to accept the tag. I wonder how many of you (my family) will already know these things about me:

4 jobs I've had:

1. Sales clerk at J. C. Penney in Roosevelt 2. Receptionist/sales clerk at a mobile home sales lot 3. Multi-tasker at Student Relations at Weber State College (mailed packets to potential students, typed, etc.) 4. Cleaned house for a rich lady in Omaha, Nebraska (had lots of belt trouble with her Kerby Vacuum Cleaner!)

4 movies I've watched more than once:

1. An Affair to Remember 2. Bridge Over River Kwai 3. Pride and Prejudice (the long one) 4. The Sound of Music

4 TV shows I watch:

1. BYU Devotionals 2. Mormon Tabernacle Choir Broadcast 3. The Closer 4. Law and Order

4 people who email me regularly (actual letters, not just forwards):

1. Linda Anderson 2. Katy Rush 3. Diane Allen 4. Ethel Oswald

4 favorite foods:

1. cashews 2. cherry tomatoes 3. pecan pie 4. quesadillas

4 places I want to visit:

1. All the LDS temples in the world 2. Wales 3. Clifton Park, New York (Alan's new home!)
4. Some beautiful white-sand, isolated beach

4 things I'm looking forward to in the next year:

1. Going to Clifton Park, NY to see Alan, Jessica, and their girls for Thanksgiving 2. Going to
O'Fallon, Missouri, to spend Christmas with David and Amy and their boys and then taking Amy and boys with us to DeRidder, Louisiana, to attend the open house the Badgers are having for Cindy and Eric 3. Getting new carpet for my living room 4. Getting released as a Cub Scout Den Leader (if God wills it so)

4 things I like about my husband

1. He is a good father 2. He is smart 3. He is a hard worker 4. He provides well for our family

Now I guess I'm supposed to tag four people, and if you've already been tagged let me know:
Katy Rush, Elizabeth Lemon, Nathaniel Lemon, and Laura Washburn

My turn, my turn!!!!

2008-10-14T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well, you probably have wondered what I thought when I read your blogs, Amy and Cindy. (I always knew Cindy wanted to be Amy.) Am I shocked about who was kissing whom and who throws what away? No. Because your blogs made me start thinking about the things that I never told my mother. And I can't think of anything that she didn't know that I would want to share with ANYONE ELSE! EVER!!!! But I thought that maybe there were some things I could confess to my kids...

1. I posted an entry on the Lemon Family Reunion site Saturday night and said I was tired and I was going to bed as soon as I finished my post. Well, I didn't go to bed. I suddenly decided I wanted to read your blogs. So I did, but I didn't dare comment on any because I had already said I was going to bed. So I let all of you think that I hadn't yet seen your blogs. Even though I did. And I went to bed that night pondering just how I would respond to Amy and Cindy especially and making a mental note to call Emily and congratulate her on her lost tooth!

2. Sometimes I watch a BYU devotional instead of read my scriptures. That's when I'm too tired to pick up the books.

3. Sometimes the cats get on the table and lick some food and I don't want it to be wasted so I still give it to your dad and don't tell him it has cat germs.

4. I like to wear sexy clothes but not in public.

5. I used to hide treats in my closet so I wouldn't have to share them with my kids. (Look where that got me--I had to join Weight Watchers!)

6. I haven't scrubbed my bathroom sink and counter for two weeks. (Just wiped it a few times.)

7. Sometimes I actually consider cheating on my points for Weight Watchers. Because I'm hungry and want to eat more. I could eat zero point foods then but sometimes I just want to sink my teeth into something really, really bad for me!

8. I tore some pages from some journals because I didn't want my kids ever to read what I had written.

9. I have had piano students I did not like. Not one bit.

10. When I was teaching at Ben Franklin Academy I lost it one time and left the classroom to have a good cry.

11. I have the desire to have a home as clean and organized as Amy's but I just never get there all the way. But I'm working on it. I need someone else to come in and throw things away for me. I spend too much time reading everything to determine its value, and also I have to decide what I think I should send to my kids so they can have a moment or two of reflection on the past before they throw the items away. Or recycle them. Whatever.

Wow, it's good to get all that off my chest! I bet you can't believe how wicked your mother is!

My "To Do" List

2008-10-05T17:54:00.000-07:00

A few years ago our home teacher, Don Davis, suggested making a conference "to do" list so we'd be able to identify the things we felt we should be doing as discussed in General Conference addresses. I make my list after the November Ensign arrives when I can read the talks and underline specific items I want to work on. Sometimes I don't necessarily have to do anything differently but just keep doing what I've already been doing.

One thing the prophet, President Monson, said this time was that we should show gratitude for everything. Of course, I've always known that, and I've tried to be a thankful person, but the first thing on my "to do" list this time is to pay more attention to everything around me and let Heavenly Father know I am aware and grateful for all His blessings.

First on my list tonight is family, and most specifically, I am grateful for my grandchildren who make me smile so much! The things Amy and Jessica shared in their blogs this week about Michael and Emily made me laugh, and I talked to Michael, Emily, Isabella, and Corbin this evening and it wouldn't have mattered if I had a broken leg or a flat tire; hearing those youthful voices tell me what they're up to would have made me forget any pain or frustration.

I could go on and on about the grandchildren, but I'll put all that in my journal instead. Right now I'm going to do some reading and go to bed. Being so happy today has made me tired tonight.

If any of you want to help me make a "to do" list, share your impressions of conference with me!

I'm not as young as I used to be...

2008-10-05T17:22:00.000-07:00

I nearly forgot I had a blog. Somebody mentioned the word a day or two ago and something stirred inside me and suddenly I remembered! I've been busy, but that's not unusual for me-- that IS me, always trying to get something done. And it's getting harder and harder for me to do what has been so natural for me all my life. As I continue to add years and miles to this body of mine I keep getting reminded that I must pay better attention to what it is telling me. And lately it has been telling me to slow down, don't walk so hard, watch what I put into it, etc. My advice to all you young women: Don't wait until you are older to do the things you should do to keep in shape.

By the way, I did reach my goal and now I am at the maintenance phase in Weight Watchers. Five more weeks of not gaining more than two pounds above my goal and I can be a Lifetime Member which means that I don't have to pay unless I gain too much. And I only have to weigh once-a-month when I'm Lifetime. But the success of the program, which is why it works for me, depends on that "Return and Report."

So this blog really didn't have much content, but at least it's an effort to keep me blogging.

A Little R & R

2008-09-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

New Year's Resolutions are great, aren't they?! At least, it's exciting for me to sit down and ponder the new year ahead of me and consider ways I'd like to improve so that this can be the best year ever. I don't always accomplish all the goals I set for myself, but just the pondering of my life--where I am, where I've been, where I want to go--is so good for me.

This year I did set a goal that has finally been realized. In my journal/planner I have written in January: "Join Weight Watchers." And I did, on February 27th. I wanted to lose thirty-one pounds. I've lost thirty. When I got weighed on Wednesday morning I thought I would be able to declare I had reached my goal, but, alas, I was four-tenths off! According to my scale at home I was right on, but then it's not digital, so I couldn't be absolutely certain until I went to the meeting. When I saw that .4 there I asked if I could take off my pants and weigh again. They laughed and said I could if I wanted to, but, really, since the first time I was weighed I was wearing jeans it was only right that I be wearing jeans for the final weight, too. So next week I will reach my goal. I know I will because it's less than half a pound--about two sticks of butter--and everyone in my WW meeting will be expecting me to reach it. I don't want to have to report that I failed.

Returning and reporting works so well for me. When I tell my goals to others then I am more apt to accomplish them because I know someone is watching me. They expect me to do what I said I would do.

My journal keeping works on the same principle, but I'm not writing so that my friends or family will be able to see right away what I wrote and I can prove to them that I'm doing what I said I would do. It works because I am returning at the end of a period of time--day, week, month--and reporting to myself what I have done with my life. And one day I expect that my posterity will read a little, perhaps, and learn something about their grandmother.

I have been reading the mission journal my Grandmother Goodrich kept when Granddad and she served in New York when I was about eight years old. What a treasure this is! A lot of it is just an outline of the duties of the day, but I have learned much about my grandmother's feelings, habits, desires, and accomplishments at the side of my grandfather. I am so grateful she took the time to report what she was doing with this important time of her life. It has helped me to feel more connected to her, to my grandfather, and I think I'm learning something about myself through her, too.

Everything I do that helps me learn more about Edna points a little closer to the road that will lead to the home that has always been so ambiguous to me. Losing that weight, proving to myself I can shed what doesn't belong and find the original me underneath all that, looking for myself in the writings of others--all this has drawn me closer to that longed-for home. How long until I reach the final destination, I don't know, but the road there is proving very interesting.

On a roll...

2008-09-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

For a few days I couldn't get any thoughts together to do my weekly post, and now I have a list of different topics. They were coming to mind as I drove home from the temple yesterday. I wrote them down and as I have time I'll try to get them from my mind to my journal.

I thought that there are probably many things that not even my children know about me. Many things will be discovered as they read my journals once I make them available to them. (Over my dead body!) But maybe they would think it fun to learn now some of my secrets or at least not previously discussed information that is all part of who I am. Maybe we'll find that we have more in common than we realized.

Here are a few for starters:

I absolutely love walking on beaches! I love taking my shoes off and feeling the sand between my toes. I love the sound of the waves slapping. I love finding shells. After the trip to Alaska and thanks to Nancy I love finding sea glass. Walking on a quiet beach is solace for me. Somehow I feel more in tune with myself.

I love traveling. My favorite mode of travel is a car, and my fantasy destination is nowhere. Don't get me wrong. I love to travel to visit my children and grandchildren. There are no people on earth I'd rather be with than those souls who are so connected to me. But I would love to get in my car and just drive wherever I felt inclined to go, stop at a hotel to get some food and rest, and then get up the next day and drive again. I prefer driving the roads that go through the small towns and stopping at little cafes and observing the people and breathing the air they breathe.

I love driving down city streets and even on the freeway with my window down, my hair blowing freely, and listening to the sounds of the city, the roar of engines on the road, horns honking (no, they're not honking at me!), whistles blowing--the sounds of a city alive!

When I walk down the street I like to try to engage others. I watch their faces and see if they will look back at me so I can greet them. I like smiling at people. I like to think that my smile just might have made a difference in their day. More times than not, however, and particularly in the city, many people look away, or look down, and don't make any efforts to make eye contact with anyone. But not me. I don't want to miss a thing.

I continue to be amazed that something as large as a jet airplane can stay up in the air. Explain the dynamics and physics of it to me all you like but it makes no difference: I am in awe!

I love flowers and in my lifetime of travels I have seen countless varieties, many taking my breath away. But my most favorite is the "ditchbank" aster, a little blue flower that thrives in the forests of Utah and elsewhere. Perhaps it's the location (the forest) that makes the difference. I enjoy the peace of being in the wooded areas, protected and sheltered by the strength of the trees, and maybe that tiny flower is symbolic of little me. All analysis aside, though, I just plain like the way I feel when I see patches of them.

For most of my life I have thought it would be grand if I could play a harp.

I hope that most of the things I've learned about me find me really wanting to get the most out of life. But that would be getting it in a less threatening or dangerous way. There are some risks I want to take (falling in love, meeting new people, trying new foods, etc.) but other risks are not worth the potential cost.

This is just the beginning of the roll, but all I have time for today. (Today's Weight Watcher's meeting discussed portion control. I've spent enough time on this portion and now need to move on to other things.)

Literally speaking...

2008-09-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

My children will tell you that I am a very literal person. I think they would say I drove them nuts (not literally, of course) because I took things perhaps too literally at times. But what can I do? There are some things we can change about ourselves; we can lose weight if we have to and put our minds to it, we can learn new languages, we can be forgiving instead of holding grudges, we can decide not to gossip anymore, etc. But my literal mind is what it is. It has made for some funny scenarios from time-to-time, such as the time I told Cindy about something I heard on the radio. This particular station was having a contest, and the winner got to go see some bare-naked ladies! I couldn't believe it! When I told Cindy she had a good laugh! She informed me there's a rock group called "Barenaked Ladies." Why anyone would choose that for a name is beyond comprehension to me, but nevertheless they did and I wonder how many other people get the same picture in their head as I do when I hear the name. Not a pretty thought....

I like the words of Matthew 12:36: "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account therof in the day of judgment." Everyone may interpret that their own way. I learn from it that I need to be careful about everything I say and how I say it. I believe this, although I have not practiced that belief faithfully. I don't like gossip and at one time had a reputation as one who would always have something good to say about a person even if others were saying negative things about that same person. I admit to falling short of that reputation far too many times. While in a meeting last night I thought about the things someone had told me about a particular lady who was in attendance at that meeting. I tried hard not to remember those things, so I could develop my own opinion of this lady based on my own experiences with her. I like what I am learning so far, but the words of my friend kept jumping out to argue with the words I was putting together to form my new opinion of this lovely lady. I am setting a goal right now never to share negative information about a person with anyone else. I don't want to color another person's opinion about another human being.

Words really are important to me.

Back to my literal mind: So I was leaving the temple yesterday and saw a huge banner hanging from an apartment building up the hill. It announced "Weeks for sale!" Now if we think about what they were advertising it would make sense they were saying that one could purchase a week's rent at an apartment. But my literal mind wanted to think otherwise, and I began to consider what I would do with the extra allotment of time if I could buy a few weeks. Would I spend the time doing something I never find time to do in the limited twenty-four-hour days, seven-days-a-week that are our present allotment? Would I just try to complete things I've already started so I could get ahead of myself and then I could start a day on a zero balance instead of behind from the beginning? Would I forget myself completely and devote it to doing all the service to mankind I could without the daily duties of life getting in the way (laundry, grocery-shopping, banking, etc.) . Or would I sit on a beach all day, every day, reading, soaking in some sun, storing some positive energy so that when I had used up all my extra time (not free time, because remember I had to buy these weeks) I would feel more able to meet the demands of reality?

Now, just as I completed that last thought I remembered that I saw that sign "Weeks for sale" as I was leaving the temple. Therein is the answer for me. The Temple. There is where I get the extra time, the extra energy, the extra Light that I need. There is where I find solace and I do service where no phone calls, no laundry, no groceries get in my way. When I leave the temple I am more fit for life's challenges, and I really do feel that I am starting on a zero balance, no longer behind, because everything is in perspective again and things that might have been weighing on me no longer seem so important any more. I hope all of you are focused on getting to the temple!

Well, you probably didn't expect this discussion to have so many turns and finally end up here. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Home

2008-08-31T16:28:00.000-07:00

We just spent a wonderful week in Kodiak, Alaska! Maybe sometime I'll take time to figure out how to add photos to my blog, but for now I'll leave it to your imagination to picture what I was so fortunate to see. As green as an emerald, Kodiak offers visual excitement at every turn in the road. We saw bears in the wild, the young one playing with fish in the river until he finally decided he'd better stop playing with his supper and dragged a big silver salmon to the meadow and enjoyed the delicacy. (I wonder if bears have a daily limit on how many salmon they can catch.) From the window of Don and Nancy Rush's home we could see life in the bay: whales, sea lions, puffins, seagulls, boats of all sizes, a cruise ship (The Tahitian Princess), barges, waves slapping at the rocks scattered around the bay, the rising and falling of the tide. I took about five-hundred photos, perhaps thinking that if I didn't capture the sight on my camera it might be lost forever!

We stayed with our daughter Katy's mother-and-father-in-law. They have a gorgeous home on a cliff overlooking the bay. Don and Nancy were wonderful hosts and there is not enough we can do or say to thank them for their generous hospitality.

Their home is lovely and comfortable. I kept thinking, "I could enjoy living like this!" To be able to wake every morning to the sound of the waves slapping at the shore, the morning call of the birds, the horns on the boats and barges alerting the world to the beginning of a new day--ah, that would be heaven for me!

I was pondering this on the way home to my small desert home. After experiencing the beauty of Nancy's and Don's world, could I ever really be content again? Then out of the archives of my memory bank came the discussion I had with my grandson Corbin a couple of years ago after we downsized and moved from West Jordan to Grantsville. In the conversation I had made the comment that this house is not big like the one we had in West Jordan. He in his childlike wisdom taught a very important principle to me and it again travels around in my mind sweeping away silly thoughts about what I was thinking I needed to be happy. His sweet comment to me that made all the difference was: "This house is big enough."

How true it is. All I really need I have. I'm grateful that there are wonderful, thoughtful, unselfish saints like Don and Nancy Rush, John and Pat Jarstad, and others, through whom I can experience some of the finer things of life for a moment here and there. But then I need to come home, home to my grandchildren who love the swing Grandpa built for them, and the little yard that is room enough for twenty piano students to have a party and call it "the best party ever!" The little street in front of our house is perfect for little boys to master the skill of riding bicycles and scooters. My grandchildren and I can sing and dance to our hearts' delight in our small living room. We have a nice view of the mountains from our back yard while sitting under the porch roof Tom built to block the sun and keep us dry from the occasional rain. We have a wealth of friends. We have many of our family close enough to spend time together whenever we like. Within these walls we pray, we study the gospel, we laugh, we cry, we share, we play, we cook, we eat, we connect.

So although part of me will continue seeking for new experiences, new people, new places, always being the wanderer, the rest of me will be remembering Corbin's lesson that will keep me grounded: "This house is big enough." Yes, this house is big enough to be home. And so I am home again.

Class Reunion

2008-08-17T17:42:00.000-07:00

I graduated in 1973 from Union High School in Roosevelt, Utah. Every five years since there has been a class reunion. When we lived in Roosevelt Tom and I went to the reunions--three of them. Then we moved away and I haven't attended one since. As my sister-in-law, Louise Lemon, was in charge of this year's reunion I gave some consideration to attending, but Tom's mother's 80th birthday celebration was the same day and I concentrated on that and forgot about the reunion. Then at my nephew's reception yesterday Louise showed me a photo of all those who attended this 35th year reunion. I could hardly recognize any of them, and some of them I didn't remember at all. I was thinking, darn, I should have attended because I look so much better at this age than most of them do, and that would have made me feel really good to show how well I've aged! But as I have continued thinking about it I realized that most of them probably wouldn't have cared whether I aged well or not. I never really fit in that crowd. Sure, there were those in the photo of whom I have fond memories, such as my cousins, but I had association with them as family and not just as fellow students. Three of the cheerleaders were sitting together in the front row, and it did me a lot of good to see that even cheerleaders can't keep their cute looks forever. So after giving it more consideration, I realize that it was probably best that this was one place I didn't return to report.

Bogged down by Blogs?

2008-08-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

I've spent a delightful half hour reading and commenting on my daughters' and daughter-in-law's blogs. I am learning so much about each one of them. I have a few other blogs I check from time-to-time but I really am trying to limit the amount of time I spent in front of a computer screen. I have so many projects waiting my attention. One reason I had chosen not to do my own blog when everyone else was catching on was that I love writing in my journal and I want to leave them for my posterity. Taking time away from the important things such as that, reading my scriptures, cleaning house, etc., would merely have added to any guilt I felt already for not accomplishing all that I felt I should do. But I type so much faster than I handwrite, and today I tried something I hadn't gotten around to yet and which you smarter and younger women probably already have been doing. I just learned I can print every post I put on my blog! So these are pages that will be added to my handwritten journals where I will write in private the things that I couldn't post publicly. I have a journal in which I write my daily doings along with notes of things I've learned in sacrament meeting, etc. I also have an "extra thoughts" journal in which I expound on things that have really occupied my thoughts and filled my heart. One day all of this will be available to my children and grandchildren if they want to take the time to learn more about this person who passed on the genes that drive them crazy from time-to-time. The blog, I suppose, we could call a "sneak preview."

Gerber Baby

2008-08-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

You ask, "Why the baby photo to identify yourself?" Well, since this blog is to make an accounting for the way I've spent my life, I put that photo as a symbol of how I began. As a baby. A cute one, too, I think. My mother told me that people used to call me the Gerber Baby. Perhaps some of you wonder who the Gerber Baby is/was; she was the face on all the bottles of Gerber Baby food. And some of you now may wonder, "Was Gerber Baby food around that many generations ago? Did they even process and sell baby food way back then?" Well, of course they did or no one would have looked at me and thought of that face on the bottle of pureed orange squash!

I was born in Tacoma, Washington, on March 12, 1955. My dad was in the Air Force and at that time was stationed at McChord AFB. Of course I have no memories of Tacoma from way back then. But a few years ago my son, Alan, married a beautiful young woman from Federal Way, Washington. Her family has strong ties to Tacoma, and when we went to Federal Way for the reception I showed Jessica's dad, John Jarstad, the address on the back of my birth certificate. He knew exactly where it was and took my husband, Tom, and me to see the home where my family lived where I was born. He also took us to the hospital where I was delivered and across the street from there was the LDS chapel where I was given my name and a blessing. A wonderful coincidence is that my daughter-in-law, Jessica, was also blessed in that same chapel!
Since Alan and Jessica lived in the Puget Sound area for several years, I was able to become acquainted with the area my parents described as a beautiful place they hated to leave (but still did so willingly because Dad's next assignment was Bermuda!).

Seeing and getting to know the place where I began did something for me. I needed this beginning so I could make better sense of the path that led from there. I wasn't sure that I had ever belonged anywhere. Besides Washington and Bermuda, we lived in Mississippi, California, Minnesota, Nevada, Utah, the Philippine Islands, Montana, and Nebraska. What could I say to people when they asked me where I was from? Where was my hometown? My father had been in the Air Force for nearly all my youthful years, until I was a junior in high school. We never lived in a home longer than a couple of years. Even after I was married it was not meant that I would grow any deep roots.

And now we are here in Grantsville, Utah. Whoever thought I'd end up in a small town populated by country folk who lived in the same home all their lives, shopped at their hometown grocery and hardware stores, sat and chatted with their family next door about the happenings about town, and who wanted to keep their small town small? But who knows--maybe I've finally found home after all....And as you'll begin to see in many of my future posts, most of my life has really been all about coming home.

Did I really just set up my own blog???

2008-08-03T17:21:00.000-07:00

One day I will find myself on the other side of the veil, and at some point, I don't know when for certain, I will be asked to give an accounting for the way I lived my life according to the light and knowledge I had been given. (Doctrine and Covenants 72:3 "...It is required of the Lord, at the hand of every steward, to render an account of his stewardship, both in time and in eternity.")

Thus I decided I would begin to take a look at my life and share my perceptions, my discoveries, my lessons with anyone interested in taking a look. Knowing that what I post here will be critiqued by others will make me give careful consideration to the significance of anything I decide to share.

But don't think that this is going to be full of preaching or confessions. Indeed, I would myself become quickly bored with such a venture; I plan to make this as fun as possible or I would be doomed to failure from the start!

So tune in from time-to-time for a peek into the reflections of my life, and hopefully my efforts won't be considered a waste of time for you or for me.